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5 replies

Stay in therapy or leave?

H hopefulMember
Hi All,
I was wondering if anyone who has completed therapy how did you know it was time to end? I know my therapy is/has been transference based...we determined that and using it to try to get back to a "better place" like I was thru the significant relationship that I'm transferring from onto my T. It seems like that awareness really brings me back thru sick feelings upon realizing it, but now between sessions (2 weeks apart) that I have been feeling better just as I did thru the significant relationship if that makes sense? I just never know where to go or what to say...seems like I'll be more dumbfounded now. Also, attachment/abandonment that seems to have settled quite a bit. On one hand it feels like I should end therapy, and on the other hand the idea of losing it in my life or giving it up is more than I feel like I can deal with right now. Once it's realized...meaning transference...is it supposed to progress a person so quickly...like a month to be done with therapy? Does it sound like I'm just being "dependent and needy?" I will be having a break of a month after my appt. on the 7th...does it make sense to wait until break is over to see how I feel? I seem to get therapy jitters 3 or 4 days before my appts. and so unsure of what to do. When do you know? Any thoughts or suggestions are appreciated.

Hopeful
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H hopefulMember
Hi Blanket Girl,
Thank you for the response. I would have never thought there was anything in there to discuss with my T but I see it now.

Yes it does feel like grief which is why I want to avoid it...I will have to comment some more a bit later. You have helped put into perspective or words all that I think but have long drawn out journals about it all.

Thanks so much.
Hopeful
catalystcatalystMember
hopeful -

I've heard that ending the therapy relationship is sometimes people's very first experience with "correct" or "safe" (wrong words, but i can't think of the right ones) endings. It is a ton of material to talk about as you learn separation.. yikes. I agree with Blanket Girl to really explore and discuss this with your T it could be an amazing healing experience for you! Hug two
H hopefulMember
Hi Cat,
Thanks for your response also. I am still trying to figure out more of what to say. I am starting to feel numb, and slightly dissociated...it's just too fast...T is not pushing at all and when I mentioned "wrapping this up" and using other resources to help me finish up she gave one of those faces so as to say "No...not necessary"...or..."you don't have to do it alone." Maybe just too many signs that it's too early. I hate that I always think I should be done or that I didn't need or deserve therapy...just rambling. I just maybe need answers still as to how this all happens for me. Thank you Cat...you are always so helpful and thoughtful.


Hopeful
catalystcatalystMember
quote:
I hate that I always think I should be done or that I didn't need or deserve therapy...just rambling


Totally not just rambling! I completely get this... That's how I feel all the time! I think I should have been done before I even started. I've told my T I expected to deal with x issue and get in and out in a couple months. Ugh. It's hard to tell when we're really ready/done when we have that anxious voice in the back of our head like that. Just awful Frowner I understand you here! T2 said to me not long ago... that she knows if we ever stopped therapy that I'm at a good enough place I'd be just fine... I've felt so guilty about being there since. I'm glad your T is telling you to take it slowly. Thanks for saying such sweet things about me Smiler I think you're very helpful and thoughtful, too.
H hopefulMember
Hi Blanket Girl,
I'm sorry to be so late in responding but the idea of long breaks you mentioned gave me a lot to think about. I had my appt. yesterday and maybe I'm getting better. You also mentioned the transference maybe being too intense.

It may be a symptom of me going off meds on my own and becoming numb/flat again but it's like I don't care, or I'm getting better. Too much to go into but I'm waiting for those close to me to see if I start to become rude or anything. We never got to talk about any of the other stuff...majority was about meds...our least favorite subject. I can't tell for sure about it with myself yet.

What brought me into therapy has barely been touched on at all. I go back after I return from my trip so hopefully I'll be more clear and decide if I want to take a significant break to re-evaluate.

You've been a really big help BG! Thanks so much.


Hopeful

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