Hi Halo,

Thanks for the update. I hope you don't mind my saying so, but I'm glad it didn't work out to see the old T, in therapy or out, because I wouldn't want you to get hurt again. How much longer till you see the new T? Any chance for cancellations that might move you up the line a bit?

Hang in there...keep talking to us, to your doctor, to your friends...you'll make it!

SG

Hi SG and thank you. I know that you are right. He seems every bit addicted as I am and it is so toxic and unhealthy.

I have an appt with my new P five weeks from today. I had thought it was four weeks but I had mis-counted. My dr is doing a follow-up evaluation (the last one was a fortnight ago) and then she is going to ring the new P and he said he is going to try and shuffle his diary to fit me in before the planned appt. It has been two months since I have had therapy. Having said that, it was bad therapy anyway that was very damaging.

I am very blessed to have a very supportive dr and friends. My meds have been increased (again) and I am continually exhausted and just want to sleep all day. My dr told me to sleep as much as I need to and to take it easy.

I am just trying to keep it all together mentally until I see my new P. I am very concerned though that he won’t be able to cope with me either.

Halo,
I remember having tough time in the past, I had never been in therapy before, however the feelings that some people (some men) awakened in my were very much like the transference/love I feel now.
With the difference that that was very painful. It was damn hard.
I hope with the help of your new P you will get to the brighter side of things. I believe he will know how to help you. I really wish it for you. Just stay strong for a little bit longer and keep posting.
I wish I could share some of the strenght I discovered in myself recently. I'm so sorry that your past therapy was actually the oposite, not quite therapy but more harm.
I had a dream once, there was a girl trapped, nearly drowning in a water, frightened and screaming. But there was a rescue mission on its way and she was saved. She didn't know they were on their way to get her out of the despair and terror yet, but she was saved already.
I hope you will find your rescue in the new P your are about to see soon. Keep strong!

Hi Amazon, I love that dream, thank you for sharing it with me. I will hold on to it and remember it when I am feeling down.

I am feeling so much better today, I am hoping that the increase in meds is starting to kick in (started the increase 16 days ago). I am thinking about my exT much less and the thoughts are more fleeting than obsessive. Today I feel like I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. It is such a relief to feel so calmer in my head.

Thanks for your kind words and good wishes.

Hi Halo!

I'm glad to hear from you and glad to see that you're feeling a bit better. It might be a strange thing to say but I feel so proud of you for sticking with the whole situation and doing what is right for you. Keep us posted about whatever pops up, good, bad, indifferent. I'm happy to hear from you

Best wishes,
Mrs. P

Hi Halo,

Mrs. P said it beautifully so I'd like to second what she said. You are really hanging in there and I'm so glad you are starting to feel better. Keep up the good work, and keep posting!

Hugs,
SG