Hi Elsewhere.... I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It really is inexcusable for a T to leave patients hanging like that for any length of time. How long are you seeing this T?

I guess I would ask if anyone else works with her? Does she work in a group? Maybe you can contact them? Do you have any direct contact information for her? Sorry for all the questions. I would not be so patient if my T suddenly disappeared for those reasons. I would want to at least know when they would be available again and I would also expect a referral for a stand in T if she was away for a long time.

So sorry about your rabbit pet. I've lost dogs and that was so hard. Especially in your case as your rabbit made you feel safe. Keep writing here and asking for support. We will keep you company until you get some information.

TN

Hi Elsewhere -

I'm sorry to hear about this situation - I'd find it very distressing. I think if you are struggling with every minute of the day, it's really important that you get some back-up help to tide you over until you hear what's going on. Especially as you have your own important grief going on right now too. TN's suggestion of contacting anyone else she works with is a great one, but if she works alone, it's still really important that you get support. Is it possible for you to reach out to another T who can be temporary back-up for you?

hi elsewhere,
i'm so sorry for all you're going through... i hope you will get some news soon. i second what TN and jones said, you shouldnt have to deal with this on your own. maybe your psychiatrist can refer you to a temporary T?
and I'm so sorry about your bunnyrabbit too.
hang in there and keep writing here if it helps.



puppet

Thanks everyone. My T sent me an email. She won't be coming back anytime soon, didn't give me details. She is very concerned with me and hates that this is happening right now. It took me a long time to get attached to her.
I will see my psychiatrist soon. He works at the same place as she does. I might get the offer of a temperory contact, but I don't think I can handle it. Connecting to people is a very frightening thing to me and I don't think I can open up again.
My T said she will email me sometimes. I don't know how often and I don't know how much she will tell me about her situation. Has she lost the twins? Is she bed bound? I accept and respect fully that now she needs all of her resources for her self. I have answered her mail, but she did warn me she would not check in regalurly (Spell. ??), so I'll try to be patient. Not A patient. Just patient.
thanks again,

Hi Elsewhere,

I'm so sorry that you are left in this limbo of worry and fear about the very person you depend on. And especially because it's taken you a lot of time and trust to develop this relationship with her.

I had a couple of thoughts. One is that if you found it very scary to connect to her, then chances are you had bad experiences as a kid. Please try to believe that the bad experiences of your childhood are not the whole reality of the world. As an adult you have much better chances to find safe people and safe relationships. There's sometimes pain in those relationships, like with your T right now, but when the pain is in a context of basic care and respect it doesn't have to damage us the way it did when we were kids.

The other thing I was thinking is that your T is really concerned for you. That tells me she cares about you a lot. Can you imagine how relieved she would be to hear that you decided to get extra help while she's away? To continue with the growth that you began with her? It would probably mean a lot to her.

I hope you will consider reaching out.

(((ELSEWHERE))) I'm really sorry for all the pain you are going through. It is a tough situation to be in and I think your holding up as well as anyone could. Keep reminding yourself that you only have control of knowing the facts that your T told you about, and you can't worry about the things she has not told you about, because at that point its all a guessing game without facts and you don't want to create a lot of anxiety for yourself, and you don't need to punish yourself that way. I really agree with what Jones said as far as looking for another fill in T for that extra needed help. Your T sure seems to care a lot about you and is concerned for your welfare. It might benefit you greatly, if your willing, to find another temporary T. I also think your T would rest much easier knowing you are being cared for. Plus you could email her about each session so she knows whats going on. Be kind to yourself, and know that you will get through this. Let us know what how you are doing.