Hi LW... for the Sensitive issues forum you just PM (Private Message) to Attachment Girl and she will grant you the access. You can find the PM function if you click on "GO" at the top of the forum and then click Personal Zone and Private Message.

I know very well how hard it is to survive a T's vacation. My oldT would take 3 weeks for his vacation and it was very difficult. My current T only takes a week at a time because he says it's hard on his patients if he goes for longer times.

What I find that helps is to write each day in my journal and that acts like a countdown until T comes back. I call the office phone to hear the voice mail message. I can listen to the one vm I have on my own phone from T. I had 13 vms from oldT. Writing on here is also very helpful and sharing the pain with others that understand. I also tried to do a few things in my life that would be different or a small treat to keep me occupied in his absence. I also had transitional objects from each T to hold onto to keep the connection.

I'm sorry your dog died. That is tough. I love dogs althought I don't have one now. And I'm sorry your husband disappointed you in not showing up at your session. That was wrong of him.

Keep talking to us during this difficult time.

TN

So sorry to hear about your dog and bad holiday and bday and t being gone. I am always devastated when a pet dies. It is awful loss, sometimes compounded because people think it was only a pet and make it seem like not a big deal, but it is I think.

Thanks Stoppers and True North.

yes a lot of people think it is only a dog but he was more. 14 years old too so I have had the dog a long time.

I think writing here too will help,I need people who understand how I feel since I will not get it from those around me.

LW

Hi LW
I am sorry that your dog died, I lost a beloved pet earlier this year and they were more than a pet to us, so I know how tough that is. I have just survived my T's first vacation of the same length as yours (been in T about the same time as you too) so the first vacation is really tough. One thing that helped me though was to have something from her office to look after (can you ask for something ?)- plus I kept reading stuff here and found it really helpful. Also I wrote a letter to someone about her absence and read it to them which helped to vent out on paper - anyway sending lots of good thoughts your way

I'm so sorry to hear about your doggy, LW, and also how much it hurts to have a spouse who is neglecting your emotional needs and doesn't understand how important his support is during your depression, is a very painful place to be. ((((LW))) I had it for many years with my H, and it is only lately that he seems to understand and at least, not be angry at me for my bad coping mechanisms, and often be more supportive as well- but it took me *forcing* him to come to a few sessions, (which I found very difficult to do, since I wanted to keep my sessions with T only for me) before he "got it" and started to be more understanding and helpful. I'm glad your T is pushing him on this.

Keep writing here as much as you need to during your T's vacation- you are among people who really do understand. Of course it would be very scary to page a T that you don't even know- but I am also very glad that your T cares enough about you to provide that extra means of support while she is gone. It shows that she cares about you. The other thing, is that you could ask for the number of the other T you had the last time, instead? Maybe that T was also away, though, and that might be why she gave you this new one.
It is lovely to have you here with us. I hope we can help you get through this break!

BB

Thanks for al the support.

Today is a bad day for my,I HATE Fathers day. My dad was the cause of all my problems and even though he is not alive today ,he is still here in memories/flashbacks etc. It makes sick. I have already not been good to myself.

It does not help that my H does not uderstand how much the stuff my father did is with me still. My H always reminds me that my F is dead and so I should be fine but it isn't. I grew up with a bad family and was treated horrible by not just my D but my brothers too. My mother was not a mother for me and let things happen though I know she was abused to by my D too.

This past March I had to go see my M and I have not seen her for 5 years,since my D's funeral. She was having a hip replacement and I had to go help her out. My two brothers I knew could not help her because she needed to be dressed etc . My T was very concerned about me going . I went for 2 weeks and it was HELL. Part of the time I had to stay in a hotel while she was in a hospital and I had to phone my brothers who I had not talked to since my D's funeral,to let them know how she was. I was shaking the whole time I called them. I did it though.
After bringing my M home I had some serious problems with being in her house. We had one major fight-out of it came that she new exactly what my D and B did to me but what could she do-this HURT so badly. I also noticed that in her house there are pictures of my brothers and there wives but not one picture of me at all. Like I did not exist. If some of her friends had not met me no one would she had a daughter.My mother lives now in a different state then where I was born and raised,so the people there no nothing about the past.

It also is hard doing things for my H who did nothing for me. But as usual I put that smile on my face and did the M thing and gave him gifts and will make it nice for him and the children.

I wish I could page my T but can't. So I am trying to write out my feelings and not get too upset. Life SUCKS!!!

Why do some people have things so good and I know that I should not complain because I could have it worse,others do. I am just so tired of holding it all together for everyone. Wish one could disappear.

LW

LW

Sorry for the loss of your dog, my dog is also one of my best friends and a confidante when nobody else can be. I know how dreadful their death can be.

I am sorry to for all your other troubles. Just a thought, keep the number of the other T. At the moment the thought of using it probably terrifies you, but hold it as a safety net to know that there is someone there who could talk to you IF you ever needed to whilst your T is away. I am glad your T has made that provision for you and realises how unsettling it can be to have such a break.

starfishy

LW

I'm sorry to hear that that your going through such a hard time. Know that I'm thinking of you and sending you a big hug. I know how hard a break from T is. Keep posting and remember everyday is another day that you made it through.

W.

I am just going to write on this post tonight. It was a rough day yesterday with Father's day and today was not good either.

I believe I had mentioned that I take medicine for health reasons. Well I have RA-Rheumatoid Arithritis and it is severe. I take some heavy meds-and today I had to have a medicine infusion done. Normally it takes about 3 hours but today it took 5 hours. I had to have lot of Benadryl put it me to stop a reaction and got nausea from it too. I had driven myself to the appt. so I could not drive my car home. I had to call my H to come get me which meant he had to get one of my children to come who could drive to help with my car. My H was upset he had to come and said to me "you have had this med before why can't you dirve home yourself" I explained that the nurses had to shoot some emergency Benadryl in me-fast into my IV so I did not just did not get my regular dose of Benadryl but a lot more. I was out of it and could not drive. I am so glad he is supportive of everything I do. Another reason not to be here.

I texted my H when I was totally finished so he could come and later in the car he said that my text was like I was drunk-one big sentence. I looked at him and said thanks for making fun of me when I do not feel well. I was texting you while I am half asleep-so what I forgot a period at a sentence. You understood what I wrote. He is so mean to me.

Sorry I just had to vent that. I am still not good and will have to lay down soon. Usually I have a T appt. now but that will not happen so I am writing.

I am so tired of meds and them not working. My R
A doctor has to keeping switching my meds because my body is fighting them. This is one big reason I do not want to take meds for depression-fear of a reaction,I am always the one who gets reactions others don't. I am also just tired of taking pills,rescrictions on what I can eat,drink,I have had so many tests done,lots of surguries,etc. The tv show house is one I could relate to and all the tests they do on the patients. My H does not understand what I go through and at work people do not know what it is like. They know I take time off for doctor appts. but that is it. Ok I have to stop complaining-people have it worse. Sorry for being a B right now I am just so down and lonely. I did tell my husband that maybe he should have to experince the meds I take and enjoy the side affects of them too.

Thanks to everyone on there comments. Thanks AG and BB for your advice on the meds.

I realize that I am not alone and that makes me feel better somewhat. I just feel so overwhelmed with my life lately. Too many bad things happening lately and making me get really down.

LW