Hugs, Seablue- it must feel awful. I'm so proud of you for calling the other T- wow that was really brave. Of course it felt icky, but you still did something good for you, there.
Yeah- keep posting, if you are able- let us support you as it will be very hard to get through the next bit. What movies do you think you will watch?
BB
Thanks AG, Liese (again 
), and BB. It does help that I have seen the T I called today and she "looks" like someone I might like. She is the same building as my daughter's T and I think she works closely with her, though they are both in private practice. Have not gotten a text from my T yet. 
I will take movie suggestions. I think I may be able to only do lighthearted ones. One of those I love is "Because I Said So." Has anyone seen it? I have always been secretly afraid that I might resemble the character, "Stuart."
And "Love Actually" is one of my favs.
), and BB. It does help that I have seen the T I called today and she "looks" like someone I might like. She is the same building as my daughter's T and I think she works closely with her, though they are both in private practice. Have not gotten a text from my T yet. I will take movie suggestions. I think I may be able to only do lighthearted ones. One of those I love is "Because I Said So." Has anyone seen it? I have always been secretly afraid that I might resemble the character, "Stuart."
And "Love Actually" is one of my favs.
Because I said so, is that with Diane Keaton?? Which charachter is Stuart???
Not sure I know Love Actually. Which one is that???
Not sure I know Love Actually. Which one is that???
Yes, Diane Keaton is in it. Stuart is the therapy patient of the psychologist daughter, played by Lauren Graham. He is special.
Love Actually follows the stories of several love relationships. Emma Thompson, Liam Neeson, Hugh Grant, Keira Knightly and more are in it. It's from 2003.
Love Actually follows the stories of several love relationships. Emma Thompson, Liam Neeson, Hugh Grant, Keira Knightly and more are in it. It's from 2003.
Seablue,
My list of favorite light and/or wonderful movies:
Moonstruck, great romcom with Cher and Nicolas Cage. My family quotes movie lines to each other all the time and so many of them come from this movie! Very funny and very sweet. Amazing cast!
Dodgeball: Guilty pleasure. This movie is a lot funnier than it has any right to be "if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a dodgeball."
Return to Me: wonderful comedy about a man who falls in love with the woman who gets his dead wife's donated heart. Sounds like a bummer but a warm wonderful movie with one of my favorite all time lines (What was God thinking?!?)
Any Jane Austen movie although particular favorites are Emma with Gwyneth Paltrow and the BBC version of Pride and Predjudice with Colin Firth (SO easy on the eyes
) and Jennifer Ehle (oh yeah, she's pretty too. Whatever. 
)
If you like period pieces, recent remakes of The Ideal Husband and The Importance of Being Earnest (Rupert Everet is in both) are really well made, with fantastic casts and very funny.
Ever After with Drew Barrymore absolutely fantastic retelling of Cinderella with an appearance by Leonardo de Vinci. Doesn't get better than that.
Stranger than Fiction: an odd but very satisfying movie with some really great reflections on life. Who knew Will Farrell was a dramatic actor? and the cast includes Emma Thompson, Dustin Hoffman, Queen Latifah and Maggie Glynnahal.
Speaking of Queen Latifah (love that woman) her movie Last Holiday was a really funny movie about living life to the fullest.
Bride and Prejudice: This is a really awesome re-setting of Pride and Prejudice in modern day India done in Bollywood style complete with amazing songs and dance numbers. Lost track of how many times I've watched it.
High Fidelity: John Cusack film based on a Nick Hornsby novel (incredible writer) about a man analyzing his last five breakups and growing up while he does it. Very funny, very intelligent movie and if your into music has a lot to offer as the character owns a vintage record store. Best band name in the world came from this movie "Sonic Death Monkeys"
OK I'll stop now. My family LOVES movies and watches way too many. Hope some of these are good for you.
AG
My list of favorite light and/or wonderful movies:
Moonstruck, great romcom with Cher and Nicolas Cage. My family quotes movie lines to each other all the time and so many of them come from this movie! Very funny and very sweet. Amazing cast!
Dodgeball: Guilty pleasure. This movie is a lot funnier than it has any right to be "if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a dodgeball."
Return to Me: wonderful comedy about a man who falls in love with the woman who gets his dead wife's donated heart. Sounds like a bummer but a warm wonderful movie with one of my favorite all time lines (What was God thinking?!?)
Any Jane Austen movie although particular favorites are Emma with Gwyneth Paltrow and the BBC version of Pride and Predjudice with Colin Firth (SO easy on the eyes
) and Jennifer Ehle (oh yeah, she's pretty too. Whatever. )If you like period pieces, recent remakes of The Ideal Husband and The Importance of Being Earnest (Rupert Everet is in both) are really well made, with fantastic casts and very funny.
Ever After with Drew Barrymore absolutely fantastic retelling of Cinderella with an appearance by Leonardo de Vinci. Doesn't get better than that.
Stranger than Fiction: an odd but very satisfying movie with some really great reflections on life. Who knew Will Farrell was a dramatic actor? and the cast includes Emma Thompson, Dustin Hoffman, Queen Latifah and Maggie Glynnahal.
Speaking of Queen Latifah (love that woman) her movie Last Holiday was a really funny movie about living life to the fullest.
Bride and Prejudice: This is a really awesome re-setting of Pride and Prejudice in modern day India done in Bollywood style complete with amazing songs and dance numbers. Lost track of how many times I've watched it.
High Fidelity: John Cusack film based on a Nick Hornsby novel (incredible writer) about a man analyzing his last five breakups and growing up while he does it. Very funny, very intelligent movie and if your into music has a lot to offer as the character owns a vintage record store. Best band name in the world came from this movie "Sonic Death Monkeys"
OK I'll stop now. My family LOVES movies and watches way too many. Hope some of these are good for you.
AG
quote:BBC version of Pride and Predjudice with Colin Firth (SO easy on the eyes Big Grin) and Jennifer Ehle (oh yeah, she's pretty too. Whatever. Smiler)
When H goes away on business trips, I put this on in my DVD player when I go to bed, because at 30, I still cannot fall asleep alone in the dark... I <3 Colin Firth!!!
Thanks for the movie suggestions. I spent the day cleaning closets. I am prepared to face the fact that I might be a hoarder.... OK not really, but they were badly neglected. 
Tendency to use stupid humor to make fun of myself when I'm sad.
I made an appointment with the potential future T (really resisting calling her new T) on Friday and cannot believe how nauseous I am feeling about it. I am so afraid of not liking her because if that happens I will really sink into a hopeless state.
Not really in a good place tonight. I miss my T so much and I keep thinking about the fact that I am not even half way through her stupid vacation. Could the days pass any slower? UGH.
seablue
OK not really, but they were badly neglected. Tendency to use stupid humor to make fun of myself when I'm sad. I made an appointment with the potential future T (really resisting calling her new T) on Friday and cannot believe how nauseous I am feeling about it. I am so afraid of not liking her because if that happens I will really sink into a hopeless state.
Not really in a good place tonight. I miss my T so much and I keep thinking about the fact that I am not even half way through her stupid vacation. Could the days pass any slower? UGH.
seablue
((((seablue)))) I am so sorry you are feeling so sad. I understand the feeling. It is a known fact that the slowest days to pass are those when a T is on vacation!
You took a big step in called the potential future T (I'll call her PFT) and in making an appointment with her on Friday. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself for this meeting and think of it as "information gathering". Sort of doing research. Maybe this will take some of the emotionality out of it. I'll tell you that when I was searching for a new T I was both terrified I would not like them at all (leaving me feeling hopeless) or terrified I WOULD like them (leaving me feeling scared of getting mixed up in another attachment relationship). I didn't know which was worse. I think I eventually came to the conclusion that I needed to be able to attach to a T in order to go back to heal my inadequate and damaged developmental process. I had to trust that the new attachment relationship would be the better thing for me even if it caused me pain again when I had to leave at the end of my therapy. And so I ended up with a T who tells me I never have to leave and he won't terminate me and he even acts like he means it. And I am attaching to him... something I would have never dreamed possible. That is not to say that my heart still does not ache for losing my oldT. That pain is still there, most likely because of the unresolved nature of the ending we had which was very traumatic.
I also want to clarify that I don't believe you should leave your T early, as in before you absolutely have to, only that I think you should have the next T in place so you don't have to deal with that while you are on your own with no T support.
Hang around here with us to pass the time until T comes back from vacation. And let us know how things go with the PFT.
Hugs
TN
You took a big step in called the potential future T (I'll call her PFT) and in making an appointment with her on Friday. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself for this meeting and think of it as "information gathering". Sort of doing research. Maybe this will take some of the emotionality out of it. I'll tell you that when I was searching for a new T I was both terrified I would not like them at all (leaving me feeling hopeless) or terrified I WOULD like them (leaving me feeling scared of getting mixed up in another attachment relationship). I didn't know which was worse. I think I eventually came to the conclusion that I needed to be able to attach to a T in order to go back to heal my inadequate and damaged developmental process. I had to trust that the new attachment relationship would be the better thing for me even if it caused me pain again when I had to leave at the end of my therapy. And so I ended up with a T who tells me I never have to leave and he won't terminate me and he even acts like he means it
. And I am attaching to him... something I would have never dreamed possible. That is not to say that my heart still does not ache for losing my oldT. That pain is still there, most likely because of the unresolved nature of the ending we had which was very traumatic.I also want to clarify that I don't believe you should leave your T early, as in before you absolutely have to, only that I think you should have the next T in place so you don't have to deal with that while you are on your own with no T support.
Hang around here with us to pass the time until T comes back from vacation. And let us know how things go with the PFT.
Hugs
TN
((((seablue))))
I don't have any wisdom to offer, but I will be thinking of you wait out T's vacation as you meet with this potential T. I know this must be very hard to face and I'm glad you are here to get support from others who have been through this same journey.
I don't have any wisdom to offer, but I will be thinking of you wait out T's vacation as you meet with this potential T. I know this must be very hard to face and I'm glad you are here to get support from others who have been through this same journey.
((((Seablue))))
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I hope that today is better.
I am really impressed that you were able to reach out and call the other T and schedule an appointment for Friday. I think meeting in her space without your T first is probably a good idea. I think I would have done better with the back up T if we had done that. Having her come into my safe place with my T felt threatening and I think if I had met her on my own first that it may have helped. I hope that you get a good feeling about her and can gradually ease into feeling some connection with her before your T goes.
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I hope that today is better.
I am really impressed that you were able to reach out and call the other T and schedule an appointment for Friday. I think meeting in her space without your T first is probably a good idea. I think I would have done better with the back up T if we had done that. Having her come into my safe place with my T felt threatening and I think if I had met her on my own first that it may have helped. I hope that you get a good feeling about her and can gradually ease into feeling some connection with her before your T goes.
2 days until my session with my T. She texted when she returned home safely yesterday. I was angry that she didn't say anything about what happened with the T that forgot about me, but found out that she doesn't know about it. She offered a phone check-in today. I'm scared I will feel worse after it because she does not want to get into anything by phone and I will want to tell her what happened but...it has been 12 days since I have seen her or talked to her. I have never gone that long and I need to hear her voice. I have been feeling a deep physiological need or longing to be with her that is different than I have experienced before.
(((((((seablue))))))))
I'm sorry. The longest I have gone without my T was two weeks and it was only three months in and pretty excruciating to me. Is there any way for you to text her that some stuff came up while she was gone and you want to connect, but not sure you'll be able to keep it from spilling out of you? At least she's forewarned and you can feel like you did your due diligence to prepare her in case it happens...? I don't know.
I'm sorry. The longest I have gone without my T was two weeks and it was only three months in and pretty excruciating to me. Is there any way for you to text her that some stuff came up while she was gone and you want to connect, but not sure you'll be able to keep it from spilling out of you? At least she's forewarned and you can feel like you did your due diligence to prepare her in case it happens...? I don't know.
Thanks yaku. Just did a phone check-in with my T. She said I could email just before my session (so Friday morning) to tell her what happened with the other T. She just really doesn't do this kind of content out of session. She only texts to say she has landed safety when she is travelling. I have learned from experience that even when I ask her to reply to email, I am always disapointed so I mostly just wait for my sessions now.
Though I was secretly hoping she would ask about the other T on the phone but....nope. I guess I will have to wait until Friday. The other little piece of irritation is that I will have to take a 4 year-old child (friend's child I watch) with me to my session. Normally I see my T during the time she goes to preschool, but not going Friday and can't find back-up for her. Frustrating. Thought about cancelling but.....wait an additional 5 days until a session? NO.
Though I was secretly hoping she would ask about the other T on the phone but....nope. I guess I will have to wait until Friday. The other little piece of irritation is that I will have to take a 4 year-old child (friend's child I watch) with me to my session. Normally I see my T during the time she goes to preschool, but not going Friday and can't find back-up for her. Frustrating. Thought about cancelling but.....wait an additional 5 days until a session? NO.
Seablue, that is hard. I watch another toddler, plus my own, so juggling a schedule that works to see and talk to T is always difficult. Much empathy!
Seablue,
I'm glad that your T is back safely. I'm sorry you haven't had a chance to tell her what happened with the other T. HOpefully, you will be able to do that on Friday. Is there not any way that the child's mother can watch her and take some time off? Personally, I would just tell her you have a doctor's appointment and you need her to make other arrangements. It really should be on her to find back-up care, not you. That is just my humble opinion though.
I hope that your session on Friday goes well and you have a good reunion with your T.
I'm glad that your T is back safely. I'm sorry you haven't had a chance to tell her what happened with the other T. HOpefully, you will be able to do that on Friday. Is there not any way that the child's mother can watch her and take some time off? Personally, I would just tell her you have a doctor's appointment and you need her to make other arrangements. It really should be on her to find back-up care, not you. That is just my humble opinion though.
I hope that your session on Friday goes well and you have a good reunion with your T.