Hi Tessa,

I think she may not have known and it was subconscious because she was focusing. It could also be, that you noticed and had been blocking it out before.

I block out crazy things in session today I didn't even remember my T walking by me to put something away (I certainly would have noticed her doing this because I always put this particular thing away but I completely did not). So sometimes we can block things out too..

I really hope you could address it with your T those kind of little things really make for big moments sometimes. I've also read things in to stuff my T has done and discussing them has deepened our connection in many ways - also I've almost always been wrong and/or my T explained (or in some cases couldn't explain either because she didn't remember or whatever). It's good to point out too if it's distressing you in any way or distracting you.

Even though she's not a friend you can ask!! She doesn't have to tell you but you can at least let her know the behavior is distracting.

((hug))

I don't think I've ever seen T play with his ring, but I will notice myself doing spinning my wedding band/engagement ring, taking them off, putting them on other fingers, putting them perpendicular to one another at random times, which are sometimes related to my relationship or marital relationships and sometimes completely unrelated. I don't do it very often and I have no idea why I do this sometimes as opposed to other similarly distracting things (pen clicking, foot tapping, etc.).

My T will shake his leg or drum with his fingers sometimes and as we sit next to one another now, it is sometimes really noticeable and I tend to read into it that he is impatient or bored or frustrated, but most of the time, I think it's just him being a little fidgety. He is ADD (I mean literally, from his own mouth) and can be a bit distracted at times. He's really into music too (has played drums, guitar, bass guitar, lead guitar, etc.), so for all I know, he's playing something in his head while we talk.

I agree with Cat, too, that even when we think we would have noticed something, it's possible that we blocked it out and didn't. In my case, this tends to happen a lot...but, I can barely look at the guy, so I might not be a good example.

Hi Tessa,

I always play with my wedding ring. I slide it to the end of my finger and put it back on. The reason I do it is that I gained a lot of weight since I got married and now I've lost some and it's a way for me to feel if I've gained or lost some weight back or if I'm bloated. I don't think it's related to my feelings for my H but it might be. I've done it a long time.