I still miss my T between sessions, too. I think about T a lot and often wish I could just call and chat like a regular person. Nope. Not in the T dynamic.

What comforts me a little is this:
As a teacher, I know my 25 little ones think about me a ton. They talk about me with their parents, they accidentally call me "mom" and their parents "ms. teacher." I am way more important to them during our year together than they are to me. After all, I am their "one" where as I have 25 of "them"

However, does that mean I don't think about them when I leave at the end of the day? No way. Does that mean I don't take their "stuff" home with me? Think about them over dinner? Worry about them? Wonder how they are doing at the moment? Wish I could be there to help them more? Nope. I do ALL of that. A lot, too.

The difference is that while they (and we) go home and talk about the teacher (or T) as a teacher, I don't come home and talk about my students. I doubt that Ts go home and talk about their clients, either.

But it doesn't mean they forget us between sessions. And it doesn't mean there isn't a connection. For the year, I adore my 25 kiddos. I cry at the end of the year when they leave and I miss them for a while. When I stop missing them (usually cause I've grown attached to my new bunch!) it doesn't mean I've forgotten them. I will never forget those kids, all 300 that I've taught. I still know their names and faces and families and always will.

Beautifully put

R2G describes it perfectly. I've taken care of young children before, for example, and although they might have gone home and told their parents what they did with Boo's Mommy today, or accidentally called me Mom, and the like, I did and do still think about them, even now that they're not in my care anymore. When I had to cut back from watching one child five days a week to three, then two, then none when she started preschool, I definitely missed her, and I still think about her frequently and am glad to see her when we get Boo and her together for playdates.

quote:

I think the difference is the intensity of the feelings.for us obviously its stronger.I think about my T and therapy all the time. It feels like ive been brain washed!!

Yeah to this too. I know for sure my T thinks about me, because he has said so. He even mentioned a dream he had about me once where it was like all of a sudden he understood something we had been processing. That was a little much for me to take in. I don't think he really misses me, because, lol, I don't give him a chance going twice a week. Also, he works hard all week long seeing a lot of other people and has practiced being focused on whoever is in front of him. He has a family, a church, friends, that he is occupied with as well. The truth is, when I'm functioning well and really busy, I stop thinking about him quite so much as well.

But, I'm OK, overall, with the imbalance here. There are people in my life I'm somewhat of an attachment figure to (some older than me, actually) and I know they miss me more than I miss them when we don't see each other. It doesn't mean I don't miss them at all, or don't care for them, or actively don't want to see them (I'm genuinely happy to be with them when I have the time).

Anyway, I do get mad that *I* have to be so obsessed with T, but I'm not upset that he is not. In fact, I'd probably feel really unsafe if T came into my sessions saying he missed me and thought about me all week long. I had enough parental role reversal in my childhood to know that doesn't feel good. I like that I can need him and he doesn't really need me, while still caring very deeply for me. Being needed by him really would be terrifying and triggering in so many ways!

R2G That's awesome!

Melba-I just started seeing my first clients as a therapist-in-training and I do miss my clients and think about them. I can't talk about them at home or to friends or family. I can talk about about them with my supervisor and my supervision class as long as the client has given me permission to discuss them with my classmates.
One of my clients cancelled last week and said to the receptionist that she would reschedule. I haven't heard anything yet and I'm wondering what's going on with her. I want to help and I look forward to working with her.
I'm pretty sure that our T's miss us and do think of us. I'm starting to see it from the other side now. I miss my former T terribly right now! I do wonder if she thinks of me.
I'm pretty sure she does if something triggers a thought of me. At least that's how it is for me as a t in training. The other day someone said something and it triggered a thought of a client and I remembered something from a session that I want to touch on next time if we get a chance.
I told my supervisor and class that I need to work on not having client issues take over my thoughts/life though. I need to find a way to shelve it in some way or just not get into worry mode about clients. That won't help me or help them.

Ok...just thought I would add my 2 cents.
Back to reading more T material for class...

One day I got caught in heavy traffic, couldn't make it to T. When I emailed saying I couldn't get there, she simply replied "I'm sorry you couldn't get here today".
I felt full of rage. It meant nothing to her. I emailed back later telling her how angry I was at her brush off reply.
She said she was sorry I felt she was brushing me off.
Next session I told her how she could care less. She said something about how of course my not getting there doesn't mean the same to her as it did me.