"Where are you?"

"Where did you go?"

"We need to bring you back into the room now."

"What are you feeling?"

"What is your body telling you?"

"You're doing so well ..."

"I am so impressed ..."

"We have as long as we need."

I wish that last one was about the length of sessions - sometimes it'd be helpful to be able to keep talking until I can't talk any more - but it's actually re how long therapy will take (I worry that I'm taking too long).

landa

Landa, one of my Ts favorites is also "where did you go just now?"

Take your time.

Remember to breathe

What's up?

I know you know

You're doing fine

safe enough to feel scared

I want to hear your feelings

I'm here

You can stay as long as you want, I won't ask you to leave

Call or email if you need to

you're already doing what you insisting you can't

You are doing exactly what you should be doing

Silence is not an option here

You never disappoint me

I am NOT oldT!

It's okay if you miss me

Call or email if you need me

You are courageous

You were such a mess when I met you (LOL, I was)

Your oldT was an F'ing idiot

I want you to get well

I am boringly consistent

Attachment works both ways... I'm not immune to the feelings in the room

You can stay as long as you want to (in therapy)


Gosh... I love my T.

TN

Wow, really?

You've never mentioned this before.

That doesn't surprise me, given how you were raised.

How do you feel about that?

Can we talk about that?

Can we go back to ____ ?

Don't hesitate to call if you need to.

It was good to see you again.

That makes perfect sense to me.

No, no, you go ahead. (when we interrupt eachother, lol)

So, I got your emails this week. . .

You have changed so much since I first met you.

You always challenge me

I am in this for the long haul

I am not going anywhere

You are in my diary at xxx @ 0.00 every week until we both decide otherwise

We are both committed to this therapy for as long as it takes

I can see the progress you are making

I am not sick of you

Remember the huge steps you have taken

Are you breathing?

What are you thinking?

I don't forget you.

I hold you in my heart.

Your feelings are your feelings and they are all ok.

I like it when you ask me for things.

I like all the different parts of you.

Are you ready to say goodbye?

This is long, hard, difficult work and you are doing really well. (I usually roll my eyes at this point...)

- it's been useful remembering these things, as my T is on holiday so it's almost conjured her up in my mind's eye. Almost...

Well, it seems you've been doing a lot of thinking again this week.

So, what's been on your mind?, apart from me!

Hmmm, now that's interesting; perhaps we should explore that a bit more

You're very insightful. You have the answers inside you somewhere

Can I see what you've written there for me this week?

I would challenge that AV, that's very black and white thinking.

Are you just saying 'yes T' to humour me?

Baby steps, AV, baby steps

Now that's your irrational thinking again, we need to challenge that.

AV; stop looking at me like that!

Nice tie! Nice shirt! Did you iron it yourself?

Stop it!! I'll have a coughing fit if I laugh any more!

These are all priceless. We should put them all (from everyone) in a document and show them to our T's and see if they laugh. I think they are funny.

Ooh, I forgot one of my personal favorites:

No, I'm not mad at you.

These are great!

Some others I forgot:

Breathe

Just like a book. Close it and put it back on the shelf.

Take a deep breath, let it go and leave it here with me.


A Funny Story: The other day he was talking to me and said something which I didn't particularly care for. I didn't give him any sign that I didn't like it, except right after he said what he said, I looked at the clock.

After I turned around from looking at the clock, he said, "You didn't like that, did you?"

I can't hide anything from him. LOL!

I won't give up on you

You deserve to be loved

You wont have to do this alone; you can keep coming to me as long as you need me

I will never tell you that we're done with our sessions together

So...when you needed your parents' love the most, they rejected you.

I'm not going anywhere

Yes, I can be a safe place for you to to fall

So... I can tell that this is still not egosyntonic with you yet....

You look slimmer; I can tell you've been losing weight

You can call me in an emergency



You are safe with me.



Starry

"mmmhmmm"

I love that Eliana! So simple, yet so true!

Oh this is fun!

hmmmm several..

Go with that
talk more about that
I dont know is not an answer
You don't like this do you? good
Therapy isn't supposed to be fun
Look over here
You are safe


Err hate when he says some things. Lol but others I try to hold on to... I'm sure Ill be back after another round next week with more

quote:

Originally posted by TAS:
I love that Eliana! So simple, yet so true!

Thanks TAS! I find myself outside T using the same kind of mmmhmm with other people lol!

There are others I like:

"I'm not going to reject you"

"That sounds really painful" (okay I don't like this one so much)

"You deserve more than that"

"This is not MY session, it's YOUR session."

"We'll worry about that when we get there."

"Why is it so important to you to find out whether I'm married or not?" (He brings this one up everytime I ask. Still don't know the answer to it! )

I can't think of many but one of my Ts does get very attached to word for a week or two.

"We'll take better."

"Let's shelve this for now"

"Let's put this in a box for now"

(I finally had to ask my T if "for now" meant forever or not to bring stuff up, she said no, and then said her other favorite word (both my T's favorite word) "Pendulate")

"It's okay to cry" (*shudder*)

"Thanks for telling me that"

"You can say 1000 sorries" (my T finally stopped fighting me on my excessive apologizing)

I don't really notice I guess what they say all the time. But that's what I remember right now.

Wow, you guys have amazing therapists! I'm crying now because my ex-therapist, to whom I was so deeply attached never said that kind of stuff to me. Stuff like "I'm here for you" or "You're doing great."

I can see this an older thread but I LOVE it so I had to add mine -

Can I give you a hug?

You know I care about you right? And that I worry about you?

Promise me, if you need me, you will call.

I'm so proud of you

Pat yourself on the back (I hate that one lol)

Look at me...I need you to look at me for this and I need to know your ok.

Whats going on?; What were you just thinking about?

Take a deep breath and feel my arms around you...

To add some of mine too:

Aww sweetheart (this is where my heart melts)

I'm here right with you

Do you want your cuddle cushion, tissues

Try and stay with me, one foot here, one foot then

You've done so well today

Lets be tender with this, I want to be tender with you

Let me help you with this

And after I come back from dissociating : Hello sweetheart, how are you doing Pingu

Last but not least: I'll be right here for you on (whenever next session day is)

quote:

Originally posted by Black_tea:
Wow, you guys have amazing therapists! I'm crying now because my ex-therapist, to whom I was so deeply attached never said that kind of stuff to me. Stuff like "I'm here for you" or "You're doing great."

Same here. Every once in awhile, I'll hear about how far I've come, or she'll remind me to call if I want to, or that she's not going to leave (which I don't believe considering the amount of vacation time she needs, ha). Beyond those, I can't think of anything else she repeats and I can't even imagine her saying half this stuff. Some of you guys are lucky to have so much tenderness.

((((Black_tea)))

My previous T used to tell me that he loved me, believed in me, would be with me, and then, the kicker -- that he could no longer care well for me. And I was terminated.

My current T doesn't get super tender, but I have no doubt (well, currently) about his care and concern and desire to walk with me on this journey. The most common phrases from T are: "it makes sense to me why you feel this way" or "this is just going to take time."

Words can mean a lot, but actions mean more (to me at least).

hello everyone,

this is a great thread, i love reading about what other Ts say and the way you all wrote it is quite endearing... i guess i could say i'm a little jealous as my T is also not very vocal in being encouraging or reassuring, but then again i would probably run a mile if she said anything even remotely gentle and caring!

my T says this a lot "hmmm its interesting that..."
but what sticks in my mind now as something that meant a lot to me is when i was talking about her getting sick of me and leaving me and she just said 'well, we'll just have to wait and see', but the way she said it, she sounded so certain that she was going to prove me wrong.

puppet

quote:

Originally posted by Outsider:
((((Black_tea)))

My previous T used to tell me that he loved me, believed in me, would be with me, and then, the kicker -- that he could no longer care well for me. And I was terminated.

My current T doesn't get super tender, but I have no doubt (well, currently) about his care and concern and desire to walk with me on this journey. The most common phrases from T are: "it makes sense to me why you feel this way" or "this is just going to take time."

Words can mean a lot, but actions mean more (to me at least).

That makes a lot of sense. And I'm sorry you had to go through that with your therapist. Can I ask why he terminated you? You can message me if you want.

But yea, actions can definitely speak louder than words. This is something I forget at times: my dad can be mean and sarcastic, which makes me doubt his love for me. But then he'll buy me the tea I've been asking for...or be concerned about my health when I'm sick...which is a reminder that he does love me. I don't know, maybe my therapist thought that I was secure about his love, so he didn't feel the need to say it? Or he could just not be a touchy-feely guy. lol

Hi, Black_tea.

I don't mind sharing the reason for termination on the OF. I am a self-injurer and have been for decades. My old T thought that he could help but then realized that couldn't. He's not the only one. I have had others, but I never connected to them so breaking from them wasn't a big deal.

[/QUOTE] I don't know, maybe my therapist thought that I was secure about his love, so he didn't feel the need to say it?[/QUOTE]

Do you think it's something you could ask him?

Sorry to hear about that, Outsider. I've had therapists who I realized after a while weren't helping me (because I didn't listen to their advice, but that's another story), so I would leave. But I've never been terminated: I thought it was in their interests to keep you for as long as possible. Have you thought of finding a therapist who specializes in self-injury problems?

As for your question, I'm not seeing him anymore. But if I ever go back to him, I suppose I could ask that.

"Okay I think this would be a good moment to stop for a little while and focus on breathing."

"You need to give yourself some credit for this."

"Can you try to wiggle your toes?" (after my body has yet again frozen)

"You seem tense."

"It takes as long as it takes."

"You are safe now."

"Babysteps"

"It WILL get better."

My T talks a lot but I can't recall any recurring themes or anything really funny that he has said. He used to start the session with, "So what good thing did you do for yourself?" and it annoyed the shit out of me so I asked him to stop. Now he slips it in at the end, "So what are you going to do for yourself until I see you again?"