((((((SOMEONE)))))))

I'm sorry your T is leaving on maternity leave soon. That would be hard for me too. You came up with so many good ideas that I don't have anything to add. It's nice that she's trying to help you cope with her absence.

Thanks for writing Liese, it is very hard, your support helps.

Someone, I read your post yesterday and wanted to respond, but I am actually coming off having my NT on leave for four months, and I had no contact whatsoever, so this is a little hard for me!

I do want to share with you though that the ONLY thing I regret about her leave is that we didn't transition out smoothly - I never really got the chance to bring closure on the chapter (I was too chicken to speak up!) and when she actually left, I was so mad that I didn't speak up. I talked about it at length with my regular T, and then addressed it with my NT when she came back.

I also wished very much that I could have had some sort of communication with her instead of absolutely none. Even if I could have emailed her once a week, or every other Friday or something. When she came back from leave, even though this is her second child, she acknowledged that she would have liked to have email with me, but she was so busy with her kids that she hardly checked her personal email, much less her work email.

I think that the transitional object will be very helpful, and the letter would be really nice, too. The idea of homework is also really good and will probably be helpful, too. If you are visual person, I might ask for a picture of T? Maybe take one of her in her office with your phone? My other suggestion would be to audio record a session if you are an audio person. I know for me, hearing my Ts voice is really helpful.

While I did have a picture of my NT while she was on leave, and previously saved emails, I did not have an audio of her, which I kind of wish I did. Will you have an interim T, or someone that is covering for T while she's on leave? If you don't, maybe you could talk about that?

You will survive it, I know you will! I didn't think I would, but somehow I managed to do so, and I know you can too!

Someone,
(I'm sorry for originally getting your name wrong! Moment of distraction. SD, thanks for pointing it out!)

Sorry you're facing a long break, it has to be difficult as well as dealing with the feelings surrounding her having a child. (My T has added all three of his grandchildren to his family in the time I've seen him and I was rescheduled due to all their births. I will confess that it was sometimes hard, although I felt badly that I felt this way. I was also very happy for him).

R2G mentioning the audio recording reminded me of something I did once which was to ask my T to call my phone and leave me a voicemail when I was in the middle of a crisis. I still have it. There are times when just the sound of his voice is enough to calm me down.

AG

AG, woops - you meant to write to Someone and not to me Somedays.

I actually would love for my T to bugger off right now. .................. Grrrr

Hey Someone,

I have been away on vacation and my T arranged to video skype me - it was excellent. I recommend it. It has its downfalls, but it really helped me stay connected and I am one of the worst at maintaining connection to my T. I can forget her within minutes. The Skype was worth it. The other thing my T does is regular email checkins with me - ie set days of the week and also she has a set day that she texts me.

You have great T if she is allowing emailing/text and calling her when you need to. You have some great things on your list.

Good luck Somedays.

Thanks guys, you gave a lot of great input, advice, and support.

Room2Grow, that is rough, especially with no contact, I feel for ya. If it's ok, do you think you could explain a little more about how you didn't feel like you and your T transitioned out smoothly? With only a few visits left I'm very interested in this. Yeah, a picture or recording of a session are good ideas, I'll add them to my list. My T wants me to see someone while she's gone, but I haven't decided on someone. I'm very nervous to see someone that knows her, I wouldn't want it to effect our relationship. So, I'm still looking at this. Thanks for your encouraging words.

AG, that's ok, I actually didn't even see your post until after you updated my name Yes, you're very right, in addition to the feelings with the break there are some very hard feelings surrounding her having a child. Thanks for your suggestion about the recording or voicemail. You reminded me that I actually did save a voicemail from my T a while ago that I forgot about.

Somedays, yeah I know how that is, it's very tough for me to feel connected sometimes too. Thanks for the input, I'll put the video skyping on my list. I think she might not like this one but I can always suggest it. Yeah, having a set day to email could help too. Thanks

Thanks again all of you.

Hi Someone,

I definitely encourage you to see someone while Ts away. It isn't as if it's a one month holiday, she's going to be out for a while! It definitely made it easier to have the interim support.

I know my situation was somewhat unique, as the person who was filling in was someone that was participating in my sessions prior to my NT's leave. I really didn't like the fill-in at first, because I didn't like her sitting in, even though I knew it was best for both of us (this way she got to know me through observation, and how to work with me.) It took a good month till the chip flipped off my shoulder and I actually worked with her instead of being a bit of a prat.

For me, I think the transition would have been smoother if my NT and I created a clear cut outline of what I would be working on while she was away - like a list of goals to reach, and then it would be up to me and the fill-in to create the steps to reach each goal. There were just too many unknowns for me when she left, and I was so consumed with fear of her departure that we didn't set things up for smoothness in transition.

Does that make any sense?

Thanks for writing more, yeah that makes sense. I do see the advantages of seeing someone else while she's away, I just don't feel real great about it right now, and I'm having a hard time figuring out who I should see and feeling good about them.

I see what you're saying about transitioning. I think I would be the same way with not really wanting to work with the new person.

Do you think there'd be any harm in giving my T a small present and thank you letter at our last visit? I guess I wonder if while she's gone and I'm feeling angry and unloved and abandoned and upset with her, if I'll regret giving her the letter and present. Maybe that's silly, but it might happen. What do you guys think?