It is fear of showing the anger for her leaving you. If you show anger, she might reject you again.

I'm sure T understands how you both feel, and why.

Hi TK,

It's so scary sometimes when we've been apart then have a reunion... lots of stuff coming up to wade through. I think what will help, now and in the future will be honesty and openness with your T... but.... I know the hardest part of that is the first step back in to the office. :/

The rational part of the brain gets it but ....

I feel like I've gone thru even more changes just this past week. My swirling internal weather system is on the move once again. Issues with drinking surfaced that I wasn't at all expecting, issues with parents that need to be addressed but don't know how to or have the energy for right now and dealing with feelings from therapy...it all feels too overwhelming. It's taking every ounce of my energy just to make it thru each day.

I only want the pain to go away....sorry everyone, if this seems like a lot of self pity but the tears have been coming ever since I woke up this morning.



The Kid

and li'l one

All those feelings intertwine Kid; all the pressure builds up until . The closer it gets to session time the more the emotional breaks come off. It is safer to feel knowing T will be there soon.

After having dinner with the family last night, came home feeling utterly distressed. Today I see T. I left her a v/m last night and sent her an email so she knows how desperate things feel. She also knows li'l one and I are feeling quite anxious about seeing her after her vacation. She responded early this morning to say she understands how I feel and heard how upset I am and really looks forward to seeing both of us this afternoon. I just want to hide under the covers and not go to work. Face is swollen from crying on and off all night, little sleep and concentration is zip. It's gonna be a long day and I just want to hide from the world. How 's that for self-pity this morning???

The kid and li'l one