Hi confuzzled,

I am new here too.

Listen to your gut feeling - if you have only just started then it will be easier for change. at least you have a choice of providers. If this were my T and my sessions, I would be out of there. I don't think I would be able to get past this. IF the T is telling you about situations with other clients = she is likely to be telling them about you.

I couldn't live with that. My gut would be telling me to leave and try somone new.

SomeDays

Welcome, SomeDays and Confuzzled. I look forward to getting to know both of you better. I'm very glad you both decided to post.

Confuzzled... do you happen to know what kind of therapy your T practices? It sounds to me like she is doing some kind of CBT with you and is giving you some homework or things to think about while you are not in session. I am wondering if what you are looking for is something more psychodynamic in nature. I'm not sure I understand what you said... you see her every 3 months?? That would hardly make for a good working relationship. Too much time passes in between for there to be any continuity and it would be hard to see any results with so much time in between sessions.

If you feel comfortable in answering... what brought you to seek therapy to begin with?

I am puzzled by some of her questions about self-esteem (self-esteem is what we develop in relationship with someone else, most particularly with a caregiver or an attachment figure of some kine). I am also troubled by her wanting to talk about her and her other clients. Now, if this relates directly to your situation and is kept brief there is no harm, but if you feel she is using you and your time to vent about her problems and is making this about her, well I would say that was a warning signal.

If you are not attached and are not happy with her then I would see no problem in your leaving her for another T. How much experience does this T have and does she have experience in what troubles you?

If you decide to terminate you can tell her in person or via telephone that you feel that what she offers is not what you are looking for and you would prefer to try to find what you need somewhere else. Thank her for her time and effort. If you can pinpoint what it was that you needed and was missing you may want to tell her so that she can better understand what caused you to leave.

I would say it takes about 5 sessions to see if there is potential in the relationship to be successful. The more experience you have with therapy the less time it would take to figure out if this T is for you.

You could also try another T before you decide to leave this one and compare the feelings you get from each and chose the one who is the best fit for you.

Good luck
TN

First, hi and welcome to the forum Confuzzled and SomeDays! I have found some great support here, and hope you find this place helpful as well.

Confuzzled, I agree with TN, seeing a T infrequently as every 3 weeks is a little odd to me. If you've been seeing her for a little more than two months, every three weeks, that's only three sessions. TN brought up a great idea, though, that you could try another T while you're still with this T and see if you find someone who suits you better.

As to the questions, for the self esteem questionnaire, my guess is because she sees you so infrequently, she has to pack in as much as possible into your sessions.

Story-wise, my T only tells personal stories if they will further my growth - and even then, the story is incredibly brief and hits a specific point I brought up at that time.

Sharing stories of other clients, anonymously, of course, my T does the same thing, though rather infrequently, and again, it helps me, actually, in two ways. First, it helps me again see that I'm not alone. Second, it gives me confidence that T has successfully worked with clients who have challenges like mine. Likewise, if my anonymous story will help others, I don't mind if she shares. That's just me, though.

On her part, I do think that if she was venting to you from her personal life, that is a red flag. If after a few more sessions she is still doing that? I'd either speak up or head out.

On your part, I'd examine how effective therapy can be when you only see your T every few weeks. I know my T doesn't work with clients who can only come less than once a week, as the sessions aren't as productive since they are generally all about catching up, and less about working. I see her twice a week, and am grateful my insurance covers most of it! I don't know if you see your T that infrequently because of insurance/finances, I know how sticky that can get!

At any rate, you need to decide what works best for you, and is most supportive for you. If you're not comfortable or not making progress, then find a way to do so.

Again, welcome to the forum!

I started seeing current T for social anxiety. I had just moved to a new area and started a new job, which tends to increase my anxiety so I was trying to get a jump start on finding someone in case my anxiety got bad again.

Initially I started seeing her every two weeks but it is sometimes hard to schedule appointments due to my schedule as I work two 12 hour day shifts and two 12 night shifts. So it sometimes ends up being around 3 weeks between appointments. I think I have had around 5 or 6 sessions.

This was the first time that she has brought some personal stories into the session in great depth. Maybe she was just having an off day.

I think I will try have another session with her and see how things are, while trying to contact another organization to try and set up an initial consultation.