Mostly Ts record sessions to get feedback on their practice from either their supervisor or their case group. It is often mandatory for Ts in training to record some of their sessions.

The majority of the time it is so the T can get feedback on how they are coming across to clients. It's really important because Ts work in isolation so much so getting a reality check from someone else on how they are interacting can be helpful. On occasion a T may ask for assistance on how to work with certain themes and may play a short segment of a session to get others opinions on what they could have said, or questions they could have asked. Getting feedback from a supervisor or other Ts can help them identify whether they are being objective and whether or not they are bringing their own baggage into the room. Using a recording is different from talking about a case because when you talk about something you're already putting your own spin on it without thinking. It can help them identify their blind spots.

So it tends to be about the T, rather than the client getting analysed and judged by lots of people.

With regard to the why you question, it could be entirely random. It might be that she wants feedback on how she is coming across to you and ideas on ways of working that might be helpful.

It sounds like you're already going to talk to your T and but it goes without saying that you can withdraw your consent at any time - therapy can't be therapeutic if one party is feeling as if they have to censor. If you feel able to, it might be worth bringing up your worry that you are too much.

Hope this helps a bit.

I have great admiration for T's who record their own sessions. I am applying to T school and the thing I'm most afraid of is having to conduct sessions while being watched over a video monitor. Mallard is right that nobody in the consultation group will be critiquing YOU. The focus is entirely on what the T did and/or could have done better. Having said that, I totally understand why you feel vulnerable and self conscious about it.

I will tell you a story about something a little similar though. When I first started seeing my T, I had to fill out intake forms. The answers for some things were fairly personal, and at first I didn't want to give her the form. At all. Being the sneaky T she is, she said "give them to me now, and if at a later date you decide it's still uncomfortable you can ask for them back." At first I didn't like handing them over, but what do you know, over time, I forgot she even had them, and I never felt the need to ask for them back.

So if you're willing, I would try the video thing for a session or two. It might get you better treatment in the long run. And it's very possible that as time goes on, you get used to it and never even think about the fact that you're being taped.

Mallard, BLT and Red Tomato thanks for your replies, it means a lot. First time starting a thread can be scary when you’re new! Your comments made me realize that it IS about her and not about me! I guess therapy has always been “me” orientated so that is how I usually respond to everything but what you all said makes sense. Typing it all out also seems to make things clearer. I’m sorry RT that you didn’t get to record your session before the termination, I can see why and how much that would have meant to you ((RT)).

Trust has been a big issue for me and it has taken me a very long time to feel safe to open up. I have known her for over 20 years and just returned to therapy with her last year after a 10 year break! We had a big rupture and I just walked out leaving therapy unfinished. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I’m back now and feel like we are finally working well together. We’ve had a few discussions recently about how I would like to feel special to her, I wonder if T asking me to record our sessions was her way of trying to make me feel special…just a thought.

I guess it all comes down to trust and vulnerability. If I go ahead and agree to recording the sessions, knowing she is going to present certain segments to her consultation group, I need to have 200% trust that she will keep me safe and also not expose my identity (it is a relatively small community here and a few names mentioned here and there on a recording might make me recognizable…I have no idea who is in this group). Also, I can’t imagine allowing myself to be vulnerable and emotional in session knowing there might be a group of people possibly listening later.

Anyway, thank you again for your replies and comments you have helped a lot. I have plenty to think about. I will go and talk to her about it on Tuesday and then decide if I’ll give it a go. In a way I wish she hadn’t asked me as now I can see half the session will be taken up with this and there are so many other things going on in my life that I really should talk about. Makes me feel a little resentful thinking I’ll be wasting half the session on this. Never mind, I guess it’s all connected somehow!

quote:

We’ve had a few discussions recently about how I would like to feel special to her, I wonder if T asking me to record our sessions was her way of trying to make me feel special…just a thought.

Nope, I imagine she wants to do it so she can help you the best she can instead of losing you again in a rupture.

Thank you for honesty BLT. That was hard to read. You're right and I should have known better myself.

Well, you ARE special, Seedling. I just don't know that it's the reason for her wanting to tape sessions.