I think in this sort of situation, rather than let it fester, it is OK to email T2 and let her know you need clarification right away, because you are getting mixed messages. I do not really like T1 telling you what T2 is thinking/feeling/proposing and wouldn't like it vice-versa either. Sure, they need to be willing to share what they talked about, but saying what a conversation was about is different than giving hearsay, which can sometimes be misinterpreted. For example, T worked with me on stuff with H, and it turned out that *I* actually understood H's feelings better than T. T just confused the situation. Triangulation like that is not a good idea. So, I guess I see why T2 wants you to just work with one therapist, but I also see why you might not feel safe with her.

I don't want to ask any triggering questions, but are things serious enough right now that you would need to be hospitalized to keep you safe? I think you have said in the past that the behavior is very dangerous to your health in an immediate sort of way. ((((((LG))))))

I hope this all gets sorted out in a way that makes you feel safe with your Ts.

Yaku,

Yeah, my health is in danger. I ruptured my esophagus last fall and almost died. I am at risk for rupturing it again.

It occurred to me just now that perhaps T2 is just covering her ass in case I die, so that it is on record that she suggested hospitalization to me and cannot be held liable.

also, i realize i posted this in the wrong forum but don't know how to move it.

quote:

Originally posted by deepfried:
LG I am so confused that so often it seems like your Ts will say one thing but then something else to one another? Was it T1 or T2 who claimed the other said you had BPD but didn't? Was it T1 claiming T2 said that also in that case?

I'm really sorry about this. Being hospitalized would be very scary. I glad I went the IOP route and I would hope your Ts could consider something like that before hospitalizing you. In what manner yesterday did T2 bring up hospitalization with you? I know she said you didn't need to go but why and how was the topic brought up in the first place?

It was T1 who said I didn't have BPD only to later say I do after talking with T2. But T2 said I didn't. So, I don't really understand that.

I think T1 is more honest with me about what they discuss and where I stand with them.

The hospitalization came up with T2 yesterday because I said that I feel that this ED is probably going to kill me before I can recover. Stupid of me to say that. It was in a moment of brutal honesty. T2 looked horrified when I said that. It is honestly the only time I've ever seen her look scared. As though I had just punched her in the gut. So that's when she mentioned hospitalization but then said she wasn't suggesting she was going to have me hospitalized. Yet then this morning she called T1 and brought it up with her and tried to get T1 on board with this idea. T1 was like, "I don't think LadyGrey is going to respond well to that idea". (I love her!) She said it wasn't a good idea for me.

I see T2 on Monday and I definitely plan to bring this up with her.

(((LG)))
I'm sorry you have to go through this again (I mean figuring out if your Ts tell you the truth or not). Take care of yourself, yeah? Lots of people - including us forum people - need you!

LG I moved the topic for you.

And I think it's important that you straighten out this communication problem between the three of you, it's causing an awful lot of unneeded stress. You already have enough to deal with.

AG

LG,

I completely agree with AG here. I think the larger issue is the continuing triangulation going on between you and the two T's.

I hope that you get the issue of the hospital resolved.

I hope it gets worked out in a manner that will keep you the safest, and that there can be better communication between all parties involved in you care. You deserve that.

BB

Thanks, everyone.

I spoke with T2 today and got to the bottom of things. She said she does think that hospitalization would be a good idea, but she isn't going to make me do anything I don't want to do.

Good that you received clarification on T2's intentions. The interplay between T1 and T2 seems to be quite anxiety producing. I hope you are feeling better about the situation.

I'm glad you got clarification. I hope that helps to alleviate some of the anxiety.

Glad for the clarification. Still hoping T1 and T2 can figure out a better way to not be sending you into these confusing loss-of-trust spirals. (((LG)))

quote:

Originally posted by yakusoku:
Glad for the clarification. Still hoping T1 and T2 can figure out a better way to not be sending you into these confusing loss-of-trust spirals. (((LG)))

To their credit, they are both working on that. In fact, today T2 was very good to ask me if I was aware they had spoken on Friday. I said that yes I did know that. She said, Did T1 tell you what we discussed? and I said yes. T2 asked, "how do you feel about it?" and I said that I was okay with it but had a question about the hospitalization comment. She and I talked about it for a few mins and then she asked if there was any other part of her conversation with T1 that upset me and I said no.

So I do feel like they are both trying hard to make me comfortable with the arrangement.

I'm glad they are trying. If they kept it up, I'd have to psychically kick their @$$es, somehow...anonymously, without knowing who or where they are.