Hiya Jones. Sorry to hear that you're feeling like you're so disconnected with your t. And no one wants to feel like processed meat!

My t has never really given me tasks, or even given me homework. But at times, she has suggested something for me to write about or asked that I ruminate on a certain topic. I ususally find, in these situations, I am more reluctant to write or ponder simply BECAUSE she asked me to do something... I'm a bit stuck in the teenage rebellion phase at times!

My thoughts on your t are, obviously, tell her you feel like she's treating you like a page out of a textbook. You might find that she has a reason for what she's doing. Maybe, like you said, she is trying to give you structure. Or maybe she is trying to give you structure so that you can find out why you are resistant to structure in the first place! Or maybe, she is simply trying to provide accountability. I don't know. Also, if you do struggle with ambivalence, she might be looking for you to tell her what you do want... or at least to tell her what you DON'T want, you know?

Btw, i surely understand the fear that we are just wasting our time. But I've found that I end up wasting more time by wondering if I AM wasting time, than when I just ask my t about it! Hope this helps.

-CT

I struggle with that type of work too. Luckily my P doesnt ask me to do it, although I would probably try for him just to make him happy because I love him so much. But when I had a female therapist she was always doing that type of stuff to me. I hated it! I couldnt handle doing it and couldnt force myself to do it. It just made me feel worse about myself because I knew how simple it was for other people to do and how difficult it was for me. I felt pathetic for having to have her make me do it. I finally just started making excuses why I couldnt do it and eventually just shut down. I am starting with a new therapist now. I had the intake process on Tuesday and meet with her for real therapy next Tuesday. I am really hoping that she does not do that to me. It has been several years since the old T but I still cant do that stuff. I have tried to be really honest with her in the intake and plan on keeping it that way. I told her that if she lets me get away with it I will tell her one thing and my P something else and lie to both of them and play them against each other, which was hard for me to admit but I knew how I would act when things got tough and I dont even want the chance to do it. It made her realize that she will have to be in constant communication with my P to keep that from happening and she is okay with that. But I figure if I could be honest about that then if she starts on all those tasks I can be honest and tell her how I feel about doing those things and how it makes me feel when people try to force me to.

CT, yep, teenage rebellion over here. I am in the middle of writing a letter (which I won't give her or read to her) about all the contradictions in everything she said today and how she doesn't even make sense. Sometimes I find myself thinking "I HATE you!" to her (as if she's making me go to the orthodontist to get my braces tightened, or has failed to buy me a pony or something!!).

In line with the rebellion I just DON'T wanna talk to her about it... or anything connected with her and me... she seems to have quit on pursuing that her-and-me train anyway (after lots of passive resistance on my part. which I don't even know if she noticed.) and I don't want to bring her back to it. Stupidly I also feel a bit abandoned, wonder if she IS going to come back to it or if the task-stuff is it now, until I just fix everything up and go on my merry way.

Pippi, it does feel like it's being done TO me. I know it's my fault for being so passive but I still hate it. Sit with a scowl on for most of the session.... At the moment I go away and do some or most of the tasks, and yeah yeah they help, but I don't know where it's going and I don't like it - I sort of wish I could know she's coming back to the connected stuff, but the more we do of this the less I trust her.

So cool that you are starting with someone new, and that you are giving yourself a head-start by being up-front with what you know. Keep us posted?

J

Yeah, I will keep yall posted on how it goes with the new people and if it helps imporove things with my P, since thats part of the point. Dealing with transference with somone you only see once a month is difficult and he wants someone near by that I can talk to weekly while trying to work through it with him. I am very thankful that he didnt drop me as a patient like I have heard other people on here say theirs did, but he said if I didnt have the therapist then he would stop seeing me.

The whole time I was seeing my old therapist I acted that way to her. I would just stare at her and I wanted to tell her I hate her and felt like a little kid with her. But I couldnt tell her cause I didnt really hate her I just hated what I was going through and having to do. I was in therapy with her for three years and never said more than about 20 words in a session during that whole time, but I did trust her.

My P I have been seeing him for 10 years and have been in love with since the first time I saw him and have never said much to him either during sessions but Im learning to open up with him now and hoping working with this new therapist I will learn to talk more and stop being so passive with him. I have been open enough to let him know I am in love with him but then refuse to talk about it.

And that teenage rebellion thing is so me! I act like a little kid with him half the time and do things just to get in trouble. If I am told do something I wont do it. If he says dont text him so much then I will text even more. I have decided that I am just trying to get attention from him because I am in love with him and bad attention is better than no attention at all. I dont get extra attention for being good, but I get a lot of attention when I am being rebellious even if it is him being mad at me. I am considering telling him this when I see him on Tuesday, but I dont know cause thats gonna be a hard day, I go from seeing my therapist to making the hour and a half drive to see him and I dont want to do two therapies in one day.

Yeah, I will keep yall posted on how it goes with the new people and if it helps imporove things with my P, since thats part of the point. Dealing with transference with somone you only see once a month is difficult and he wants someone near by that I can talk to weekly while trying to work through it with him. I am very thankful that he didnt drop me as a patient like I have heard other people on here say theirs did, but he said if I didnt have the therapist then he would stop seeing me.

The whole time I was seeing my old therapist I acted that way to her. I would just stare at her and I wanted to tell her I hate her and felt like a little kid with her. But I couldnt tell her cause I didnt really hate her I just hated what I was going through and having to do. I was in therapy with her for three years and never said more than about 20 words in a session during that whole time, but I did trust her.

My P I have been seeing him for 10 years and have been in love with since the first time I saw him and have never said much to him either during sessions but Im learning to open up with him now and hoping working with this new therapist I will learn to talk more and stop being so passive with him. I have been open enough to let him know I am in love with him but then refuse to talk about it.

And that teenage rebellion thing is so me! I act like a little kid with him half the time and do things just to get in trouble. If I am told do something I wont do it. If he says dont text him so much then I will text even more. I have decided that I am just trying to get attention from him because I am in love with him and bad attention is better than no attention at all. I dont get extra attention for being good, but I get a lot of attention when I am being rebellious even if it is him being mad at me. I am considering telling him this when I see him on Tuesday, but I dont know cause thats gonna be a hard day, I go from seeing my therapist to making the hour and a half drive to see him and I dont want to do two therapies in one day