(((yaku)))
happy to hear you are doing well. Enjoy your break!

I'm so glad that you are enjoying the weather and being present to your Boo. It's so nice when we get a little reprieve from the therapy angst, and so necessary! May your little break be peace-filled and rejuvenating. Take care of yourself, Yaku! Come back whenever you need to.

BB

(((YAKU))))

Take good care of yourself and take care of BOO.

Liese

Thinking of you Yaku and hoping you are doing okay and can stay in the good place for awhile longer. I respect your need for a break but know we are here when you feel it's time to come back.

Hugs
TN

Ditto, Yaku. Thinking of you and I hope the self-care only gets easier. We will be here when you get back.

Jones

Update: I checked in really quick tonight for the first time (aside from PMs). Thanks for the kind words, everyone, and for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. Ups and downs, but having some good time with Boo (at the park, riding her bike) and keeping up with other important stuff (cleaning, drums for church). The upcoming week is going to be a busy and difficult one for me, but I'm just going to take it one day at a time.

I am really struggling with making the best decision as far as how long to stay away or whether to come back. On the one hand, I find so much value in this community and you are an inspiring group of people who I feel have really enriched my therapy experience. On the other hand, I know if I return, I will most likely constantly project (judgments about myself) on everyone that really aren't fair and be worried that this forum is a much better place without my participation.

I'm not looking to be "convinced" otherwise (fearing here this will be seen as an attention seeking, "Please tell me you want me here!" thing, which it is not). I know intellectually those projections are just that, internal beliefs about myself that probably aren't held by a majority of people here, but I'm struggling with trust in a way I can't seem to overcome right now. This isn't about anyone or anything in particular, although I would not have come to the realization of how it has been affecting me without everyone's help. It's just my own stuff coming up really forcefully right now.

I'm facing the reality that it might be too hard for me, at present, to be somewhere I feel I am contributing to in a negative way. I am not sure if I can deal with these feelings of corrupting something. So, I plan on taking some more time, probably through at least Tuesday, away from the forum to think about what I feel "up to" in the long run. Again, this is all about me and what I feel I can handle. I'll still be checking/responding to PMs if they come in. In the meantime, I am thinking of and praying for you all, my dear friends. Thanks for taking the time to read and I hope I did not leave anyone with any "icky" feelings here. (((((hugs))))) to you all

Yaku,

I don't know about anyone else but I'm certainly guilty of projecting thoughts and feelings onto forum members. It got heaviest for me as I got closer to my pain. You're a valued member of the forum and I hope that when the time is right for you, you will come back.

IMHO, it's not a bad idea to take a break from the forum especially when things get heavy and you feel you need to protect yourself.

Lots of love and support. Take care of yourself and Boo.

Liese

Dear Yaku,

I've been giving my response here a lot of thought. Yes...it really is a matter of doing what is best for *you.* We all have to "own our own stuff." I'm not going to dearly love every post I read on here, and neither are you, and that is totally ok. (painful, but-ok) It is up to other people to take care of themselves. It's *not* up to you to take care of other people's reactions to your painful situation by, in some sense choosing to "no longer exist." I know that one, I've done it a lot. (not here, but in other places) So it's not really possible for you or anyone of us to "pollute" the forum. People can choose to read or to not read, to respond or to not respond to us- especially since, you are *always* careful and considerate about putting trigger warnings when your stuff is potentially triggering. The purpose of trigger warning, is so that people who do not want to be triggered or who are greatly troubled by not being able to help- (at present- remember you are still quite newly in therapy considering what you are dealing with, and *in time* you will be more able to accept and respond to care in ways that are helpful to you, and more connecting with others- which is the essence of healing) -can simply choose not to read. Let those who can, respond to you, and those who cannot- know it is their *stuff* that prevents it- and not *you.*

hm- I hope this helps! ()


hugs, Yaku-

BB

Still out for a couple of days, due to Father's Day (hard holiday, I'm sure, for a lot of us), family birthdays, my anniversary, etc. Noticed this thread was "active" while checking a PM, so just a quick check-in. Hoping I can find my way back here, as I miss all of you, especially hearing about how everyone is doing. (((Hugs))) and thanks for the kind words and wisdom!