My first therapist had already had a heart transplant before I met him. He smoked like a chimney during our sessions (this was obviously before the smoking ban came to light)...he was on the transplant list for another heart; however, they found his 50 year old body was already riddled with cancer, so basically he went home to die. We did have one final session, but all he wanted to talk about was finding me a new therapist. All I wanted to do was talk about him and what he was going to do.
My second T was also older, in his 60's and I worked with him for about 20 years. We were both set for him to retire. He had me interview a series of T's to replace him. We got to sit down and discuss them, then we settled on one we thought would be a good fit. But, three months before his retirement, he had a stroke and never returned to the office.
I "knew" something was wrong with both of them...I could sense it. When my first T told me he went back to his old home where his wife and he lived (which was a town I worked in--BTW, his wife died years ago) I knew something was wrong. He was visiting that place for a reason, I remember telling myself. My second T, believe it or not, fell asleep during my exposure sesson...One time I came to the door and knocked and knocked and nobody answered, so I went and got another associate working there and they banged on the door. I thought he was dead in there. He came to the door and he, again, was sleeping and didn't hear me knocking. I knew something was seriously wrong.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say, is that sometimes I can't get past thinking about the thoughts and feelings of my T's. I think I just "sense" something. My current T will say, "There you go, trying to take care of me again. Therapists are supposed to take care of you." Sometimes I don't feel like I can do it right--so afraid of saying the wrong thing, wondering if I'm too much of a burden for them; Hell, I even wondered if I caused their illnesses. Intellectually, I know I didn't. Emotionally, I wonder if I did.
Just wondered if anyone else has this sixth sense during sessions and feels the obligation to help them. I have found out that I am one of those Highly Sensitive People in the world with PTSD from a college experience. I don't know...just thought I would throw this out to everyone and see if anyone could relate. Please let me know. Thanks.
LJB