Hi Jillann. Rabbit again I have done this, and even though I've heard the recorded greeting many times, I'm always trying to figure out if T sounds kind of annoyed in that message--which always scares me. And I hardly ever leave a message--maybe once a year? I also assume T can see when I've called...but she never mentions it. I have trouble finding my voice in session too, so the phone message is just about impossible.

RabbitEars

I have done this many times. Sometimes I leave a message but mostly I just want to hear her voice. She has the most amazing, warm, soothing voice. It calms me down and it is actually is one of the reasons I chose to do therapy with her. I have never revealed that I do this. She is part of a group and the call is picked up and I have to enter an extension, so I don't think she sees that I called. I hope not because that would be very embarrassing. I don't plan on telling her either.

Jillann,
Before I came here my H upgraded our cell phones, but we kept the old ones. I had noticed that my voice reminders didn't get transferred, which I was annoyed about, but then noticed all my saved phone messages. All NINE were from my old T! That relationship had ended terribly, but for some reason I didn't have the heart to delete them. I was worried that if I complained about messages that weren't transferred my H would take it back to the store & then he'd see it & think....something is weird here.
I always liked listening to his voice; it was calming, but I'd also listen for the tone in his voice. Especially when he had left a curt message when I was running late for the appointment. Definitely uptight there.
I guess I should go back & delete them before I get busted. So I do understand wanting to hear their voice even if its only a recording. Nothing crazy there. I think its like playing the same song you like or keeping that love letter you read every once in awhile. They make us all feel better.

i don't think i ever would do that only because i'd be terrified he has caller-id. he left a voice mail on my office phone once and i had it for about a year and a half and i'd listen to it at work whenever i needed to hear his voice. a couple of months ago i noticed it was nowhere to be found!!! i was nearly devastated!!! i searched everywhere for the thing but never did find it. was/am totally bummed.

(((Jillann))) you're not crazy. you're just a comfort-seeker, and that's pretty okay.

My T encourages me to call and leave messages and I do way too much. I can only rarely listen to her (I usually press a # straight in to leaving a message) because I get anxiety then can't leave a message!!! I do have some saved messages from her I will listen to though. She has the best T voice

I don't think it's unusual at all to dial up to hear your T. I can't imagine she would look at call logs and\or compare them to client record phone #s. I guess it depends if you are calling their cell it would show up but it sounds like your T has a set up like mine with an office phone.

My T only has the cell-phone, and since I have incredible anxiety about calling and have only ever done so in extreme crisis (and one other time after scheduling miscommunications and had an anxiety attack all day after)...well, I think it would worry him if I did call for nothing and he saw the missed call. I'm too embarrassed to ask him to record something I can listen to, but sometimes it would be nice to have a recording of his voice, maybe praying or something. That would feel really safe and comforting. I could use that right now.

I don't think you're crazy!

I still have my former t's voicemails saved from a year ago. She was returning my phone calls and left messages. Her voice is comforting and it feels happy and safe to me. It reminds me of her and I can picture her and our sessions together. Sometimes it boosts my confidence to hear her voice and other times I burst into tears because I miss her.
I confess that I've rerecorded the voicemails and made them a playlist on my itunes/ipod/iphone, so I can listen to them over and over if I need to.

I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone in this listening to T's voice thing.

I wish I could do that. But since I used to do it without being allowed to for other people, it's just one of the numerous things that I now consider entirely forbidden (not that she said it was forbidden, but I would see it as "me being disrespectful again" by comparison with my previous, more extreme, behavior). what I mean is, I don't think there is anything wrong with doing it, it just brings back bad memories for me. And anyway, I probably wouldn't dare to call^^

Thank you everyone. I don't feel like such a crazy person now

I've had a really rough few days and I've found myself wanting to hear her voice so much. I've been calling her office phone over and over. I have T this morning. Not sure if I'll tell her what I've been doing or not. I've been seeing her twice a week but she is going on vacation next week and then when she gets back I'm going to try to back off to once a week. I think I'll be calling that office machine a lot when I have to go a whole week between sessions.

Jillann

Oh, Jillian, you are SO not alone. I think the record for me is calling Ts voicemail 14 times in one day? Just to listen to the outgoing message.

T knows I do it, and is totally fine with it. It was actually Ts suggestion way back when! It's interesting now, too, because T will comment if I've called a lot between sessions, as I now (after a long while) only call a lot in a short time frame if I'm stressing about something. It's become a helpful tool, actually, even though I rarely, if ever, leave a message!

Me too! I saved the scheduling voicemails to my mobile phone and I listen to them when I need to be soothed!

I am so glad I posted this .

I was full of angst and worrying over this. Knowing so many others really need and want to hear their T's voice between sessions makes me feel much more normal.

Thank You everyone!

Glad you feel more comfortable, Jill

Hi Jillann,
I have maybe five saved from my T. If I feel alone I will listen to them...usually one where she is being very kind about some subject that I had called about, e.g., my precious dog I had to have euthanized. Sometimes I think I have just called so I'll get a voicemail when I probably wasn't feeling all that needy.

Update: yesterday during my session I fessed up about all the calls. She said that yes she can see all the times I call but that it is OK. I told her I just needed to hear her voice to help me calm down. She said that was alright. She was so great about it. She just keeps encouraging me to try to talk and leave a message. Part of trying to get me to recognize my needs and express them. I'm really relieved that she doesn't mind!

That's courage. Good for you, Jillann!