Temporary T? - Additional question

aboutMember

Hi!

So... I'm looking for practical advice... should I look for a temporary T?

Story (if you haven't followed all my current posts, even if I feel like I am invading this forum, and therefore hope you will forgive my multiple questions): I am back in my home country for the summer (3 months) and so, without a T or a psychiatrist, or meds, or anything, except for friends (which is not bad, I know, but not exactly equivalent).
So... should I look for a T for the summer? The thing is, I am VERY slow to open up, I move quite a lot during the holidays, and I am not very hopeful I can find someone in such a short time.
But... I am not dealing so well on my own, I am wasting days on crying/simply being too tired to do more than staying in bed/watching TV and feeling I am a mistake of the universe. Which is not all that fun. However, I'm not sure anyone could actually help, but at least, having someone who can hear it might help...

And also, I miss my T. (and my Over-protective Self also concludes that it proves that I should never allow myself to be attached to anyone, especially a T, because they disappear and it hurts, and it is stupid to be hurt, and I never want to feel this, lost and abandoned.) I can't contact her by email, and anyway, it would be pointless as I couldn't ask for an appointment anyway. But I keep wondering if, it's what it means, I really want to go back in September, if it's 'only' to prepare more pain for later... But let's go back to now.

I just don't know what to do to help myself. I'm not even sure anyone would accept me for such a short time. And I am really not sure it would be helpful.
Any suggestion?

Thank you for reading.

6/12/1311:05 AM

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starlightMember

Hi About,

My T is pregnant and due to give birth in 3 weeks time, she will then take 5 weeks leave. i have already fixed 2 appointments with a back-up T during that time. I know just the thought of 6 weeks gap would make me panic. I have seen this other T a couple of times before and we don't teally do therapy as such, we just talk a little about what is happening with me now and it just gives me someone to talk to until T gets back and I can continue real therapy.

I

think if you are struggling another T would be useful. It will be different knowing it is only short term, but it may help you keep stable until you get back to T. 3 months is a really long break and I am sure another T would understand and help you.

6/12/1312:11 PM

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aboutMember

Thank you a lot for your answer Starlight

I guess I am just afraid, because it means phone calls, meeting new people, possibly failing, getting hurt, and right now, I don't have that much energy.
And also hiding it from my parents: I live at their house, but they don't think Ts are really helpful, so I would need to find a way to do it without having them noticing (or with their judgment...)
Today, appointment with Gdoc... it's gonna be fun. Especially if she notices I relapsed in SI last night.

Thank you.

Additional question: so I'm trying to confirm my diagnosis in my home country (since English is not my first language, I'd rather not be misdiagnosed because I used the wrong word at the wrong time... )
They ask a letter from my psychiatrist and/or T. So I can a) try to get in touch with the psychiatrist I had seen, but... I have seen her twice, and I have no idea how to reach her (she was temporarily working in the hospital where my insurance allowed me to go... ) or b) to my T. But... she's not a psychiatrist + we had "made a deal" I was allowed to send her one email a month (end of each month) to check she was still here, and... I'm afraid it's a break of the deal/then I won't be allowed to have this mail. But since I am only here for 3 months, I can't wait until the end of the month if I want to have a chance to have an appointment... so... what should I do? (being a grown up is difficult!)

6/13/1312:57 AM

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jillannMember

((About)) I'm sure it's sad to be home with those feelings and no T outlet to express them. Can I offer a different / perhaps odd suggestion. Feel free to ignore this if it doesn't work. Can you get in touch with a religious organization or church in your area and see what sort of volunteer work you might be able to do? I worked in an inner city soup kitchen when I was in college. It helped me to get out of my head if you know what I mean. It also gave me some meaningful work which really helped for awhile. It would probably help the next few months to pass more quickly.

If you need medical records I don't think your T would count that contact against you.

Jillann

6/13/132:25 AM

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aboutMember

Thank you for your answer Jillann, it is very helpful and it gives me some ideas, even if I would need to look more into it. I am not religious, so I am not sure about religious organizations, but there are other organizations, I will (if I find the energy to go out of my room... ) look for them. I live in the middle of nowhere, so, not sure I can actually, physically go there, but it's worth trying.

Any other experience with temporary Ts or contact during the break? I feel a bit lost, and I have no idea how she would react if I do ask for the medical records :s

I guess I'm just not good enough. Nevermind.

6/13/1311:26 AM

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aboutMember

Sorry for insisting. I get that it's not important or interesting, but... I feel afraid of 'breaking the deal'... so, just in case, asking one last time, has anyone dealt with this kind of question (when is it fine to contact a T during a break?) ?

Sorry.

6/14/133:04 PM

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greeneyesMember

Hi About

It depends what you've negotiated with them beforehand.

If guidelines haven't been set then I would contact them if you're heading for a place where your physical safety is possibly in jeopardy

6/14/134:16 PM

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rabbitearsMember

Hi, About.

Sorry I missed your post yesterday. In my experience, it has always been OK to contact T, and I've taken breaks as long as 9 months. T did not always get back to me within 24 hours, but it was always OK for me to contact her.

In your case, which has to do with records (an administrative issue), I think you are completely entitled to make this simple request of your T. I can't imagine any T having a problem with this type of request.

Maybe you could start your message by acknowledging your worry/fear about "breaking the deal," to let T know that you understand and respect the boundaries she set and then ask whether this request is OK (i.e., an exception to the deal)?

You're important and more than good enough, About. No need to apologize for yourself. No need to [[[[[hide

]]]]] behind an apology

RabbitEars

6/14/134:17 PM

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aboutMember

Thank you a lot for your answers, they've helped me thinking about it, and what to do from a practical point of view, and why I am afraid.

I think my T wouldn't mind if I contacted her for this, because it is just about medical records, and she had offered me to contact her if needed during the summer, and I had been the one turning down this option, because hesitating would have been too painful. So, I am irrationally afraid of seeing her rejecting me because of the 'deal', and very sensibly fearing that contacting her would let me miss her more than I'd like and let me entirely in my dark places, and I need to keep myself together, at least until September.

Thank you so much for your answers, and I am sorry for the "I am not good enough" crisis, I am in those moments when I constantly feel I am a burden to every one and simply can't get myself out of this thought.

So... I still need to decide what to do.

RT: very good idea, I might try, if I succeed in communicating with my general doctor.

RabbitEars: [[[[you're very right about hiding behind apologies, but existing without hiding means taking a terrible risk! I could be wrong, I could be rejected, I could not deserve to exist... let's play hide and seek once more]]]

6/15/1312:23 PM

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rabbitearsMember

{{{{ [[[[[ (((About))) ]]]]] }}}}}

|||| Rabbit||||

6/15/1312:53 PM

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