Agreed...expressing appreciation is a wonderful thing. I think it's really nice.

Giving positive feedback is no worng, but helpful to the T, I would think!

BB

It occurred to me yesterday that I will have an appointment with T2 on my birthday, May 5th. I hate my bday and the older I get, the more depressing it gets.

However, I was thinking that perhaps I could do something to honor HER on my bday, because lately we've been discussing my lack of interest in living, my wanting to just disappear. I am not suicidal, I just don't really care about living anymore, but she is helping me to pull myself out of that and find ways to renew my passion for life.

I think in a way, it would be nice to in some way celebrate my bday with her, to say thank you for helping me find life again, but I'm not sure how to go about it without creeping her out or making it seem like I've crossed a boundary.

I'm thinking perhaps keeping it simple. Maybe just a letter that I write to her and read aloud in therapy. But that might be too intense for me. Perhaps some flowers with a simple note that she can read to herself.

R2G,
I am constantly thanking my T. At the end of sessions, sending emails after sessions. I once designed and made a counted cross stitch piece for him and wrote a thank you note so long I ran out of space in the card and had to add a notecard. He has told me that he really appreciates it, because when I thank him it gives him affirmation that what he is doing is effective.

There was another thread about this a litle while back, I thought you might be interested in. The link is below. But I don't think its pathological at all, I think its healthy.

Showing Appreciation

AG

PS Edited the topic to point to the thread I was talking about instead of this thread.

quote:

It occurred to me yesterday that I will have an appointment with T2 on my birthday, May 5th. I hate my bday and the older I get, the more depressing it gets.

Ugh. I hate birthdays too. Unfortunately, mine is this week.

quote:

I think in a way, it would be nice to in some way celebrate my bday with her, to say thank you for helping me find life again, but I'm not sure how to go about it without creeping her out or making it seem like I've crossed a boundary.

What a great idea LG! I wish I had session on my birthday as it really would be a good time to express gratitude.

AG - I remember reading that thread when I found the forum. I love how your T received the cross stitch and how much he appreciated it.

I've only been with my T for 3 months (twice a week sessions, though) and I really don't know how she'd "see" a thank you from me. We've been working on the fact that I can't stand compliments, to the point where receiving them makes me physically ill. I don't want to be hypocritical in thanking her (which is essentially a compliment to her and her work) when this is exactly what we've been working on about me. Ironic, maybe?

All I know is it is so strange to be "thought of" in the way that she does - by setting the room, by knowing which little tidbit of chatter needs to be expanded based on prior sessions, how she always fixes her gaze on me when I'm speaking, sometimes revealing watery eyes that show she cares. I think the only way I could do this right now is in a thank you note that I either hand her on the way out, or give her at the start and ask her to read it when I leave, or by dropping it in the mail so it arrives on a day I don't have a session.

I know, I'm likely thinking too much in to this - it's really like many of you said - a thank you, an expression of appreciation from one human to another.

I often give my T thank yous. Only once or twice have I been able to muster my ability to say those words directly to him in a heartfelt way, for the depth of everything he is giving. However, when he said he would like to see my journals, I started writing little prefaces to the journal entries I email and including a quick little blurb that is a direct note to him, and usually express my deep thanks for how considerate and careful he is with me. Sometimes I text thank yous as well. These are obviously in addition to the (I don't want to say superficial) lesser thank yous for smaller things that I can say without embarrassment. I think it's completely appropriate to thank T and she will appreciate it whether you are able to do it verbally or in writing. When I substitute taught, it was always really gratifying when the kids appreciated me (especially when they told me specific things that helped them). It made me feel more purpose in the work and it also helped me understand what was connecting with them better. Just like telling Ts when things are NOT working, I think it's important to tell them when they are and saying thank you is a wonderful way of doing that, and a real connection-builder.

R2G - Happy birthday! I don't like to celebrate mine either, but I love to celebrate others', so wishing you well!!!