I had a funky feeling about my phone session tomorrow, since we never really confirmed it. On Tuesday, T asked via text if 10AM was OK and I said, "Yeah, I am moving a job to take the session." Then I never heard back. So, I bit the bullet, and despite feeling like a desperate freak for needing to confirm, told him I was worried we weren't on the same page and that if I thought yes we were doing a call and he thought no and didn't call, that I would be triggered heavily on abandonment issues and perhaps have a very bad reaction. So, then he sent a long text back saying that he thought he sent a text a few days ago and now noticed it failed to go through and he had suggested a different time on Friday and now Saturday was looking like a better option. He gave what might have been too much disclosure that his son is in town and so he'll be staying in a different location certain days to see him, so his schedule is weird. Then he said that, God willing, we will find a time that works for us to talk and doing so WILL NOT be a burden to him and to please trust him on that. I felt his care very strongly that he wants to make this call happen, not out of a heavy obligation, but because he sees my need and WANTS to meet it and knows how sensitive I am to feeling like I take too much. Then he said he was sorry I have been having such a stressful week.

I am feeling like I just narrowly escaped a pretty bad rupture and potentially doing some very stupid stuff out of fearing T forgot me or I was "too much" for him or something. I guess the repair part of it might be a good lesson, but I'm really feeling like I can trust that saying about God not giving us more than we can handle, because I don't think I would have handled it well at all. The fact that I sensed something was off AND had the courage to ask (rather than wait in silence) is practically a miracle. So, now I am playing a waiting game to find out if/when we will be talking (we will touch base tomorrow morning), but feeling how much he cares means that waiting is not quite as hard.