My T sometimes tears up and really cries during my sessions where we talk about my experiences during childhood. It makes me uncomfortable. Do I mention that is makes me feel uneasy, or should I just let it go?
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wow. i guess i am somewhat jealous, coming from kind of a blank face therapist. i shouldn't say that, maybe, but, i struggle so with getting anyone to 'get' my pain. so, she does at least seem to get you, but, i think for sure you are entitled to tell her how it makes you feel. it possibly makes you hold back?? i presume?? to not get more of that same reaction??
others here are much better at responses, i am sure, but my gut tells me it is your right to tell her. there is a balance between crying and blank faces...a middle ground they should be able to find. and if that prevents you from opening up, it could really stand in your way. are you new with her? or is the depth of her compassion for you what is most uncomfortable?? i am just trying to understand where you feelings are coming from...i think it would make me uncomfortable, too, and i would hold back. 'never want to upset the apple cart'...something i learned REAL WELL growing up!! glad you posted!!
others here are much better at responses, i am sure, but my gut tells me it is your right to tell her. there is a balance between crying and blank faces...a middle ground they should be able to find. and if that prevents you from opening up, it could really stand in your way. are you new with her? or is the depth of her compassion for you what is most uncomfortable?? i am just trying to understand where you feelings are coming from...i think it would make me uncomfortable, too, and i would hold back. 'never want to upset the apple cart'...something i learned REAL WELL growing up!! glad you posted!!
Sunnyshine,
If it's making you uncomfortable you should bring it up. Therapy is all about your needs, so your T should be able to discuss how you feel about her crying. Especially if it's making you uncomfortable. Is it making it hard to talk about stuff because you're afraid of upsetting her or is it hard to see how much she cares?
My T does occasionally choke up a little when he's very moved by something but I haven't seen outright cry but I do know some people whose Ts do but they find it affirming. Every theraputic dyad needs to find what works, but your Ts crying isn't good if it's pulling the focus onto her instead of you. On the upside thought, you do know she cares.
AG
If it's making you uncomfortable you should bring it up. Therapy is all about your needs, so your T should be able to discuss how you feel about her crying. Especially if it's making you uncomfortable. Is it making it hard to talk about stuff because you're afraid of upsetting her or is it hard to see how much she cares?
My T does occasionally choke up a little when he's very moved by something but I haven't seen outright cry but I do know some people whose Ts do but they find it affirming. Every theraputic dyad needs to find what works, but your Ts crying isn't good if it's pulling the focus onto her instead of you. On the upside thought, you do know she cares.
AG
Sunnyshine,
If there is one thing I have learned from hanging out here, it is that it is so important to talk to your T about what is bothering you in the relationship. I know that many people don't like to see their Ts emote at all.
My T gets teary, but keeps it about me. I appreciate it, because it shows me she cares. I think I would have a difficult time looking into her expressionless face while I tell her some of the stuff that I do.
If there is one thing I have learned from hanging out here, it is that it is so important to talk to your T about what is bothering you in the relationship. I know that many people don't like to see their Ts emote at all.
My T gets teary, but keeps it about me. I appreciate it, because it shows me she cares. I think I would have a difficult time looking into her expressionless face while I tell her some of the stuff that I do.
Thank you all for replying. It doesn't necessarily make me angry, but makes me feel like I have to be careful not to upset her. Like I should go over and give her a tissue or a hug, 
My T has actually wept, full out wept. It was at the end of a session and when I left I heard her cry quite loudly.
I guess it just makes me concerned about how she handles things, like I should be censoring myself for her benefit.
My T has actually wept, full out wept. It was at the end of a session and when I left I heard her cry quite loudly.
I guess it just makes me concerned about how she handles things, like I should be censoring myself for her benefit.
Hi Sunnyshine. Welcome to the forums, I don't believe we've met yet.
I agree with the others, if it is bothering you then I think it is a good thing to bring up. My T has gotten teary or choked up a few times (not much though), but I have never seen or heard her cry and I would fall over from shock if she did. I don't know how she manages to not cry, but she doesn't and yet she is fully present.
I agree with the others, if it is bothering you then I think it is a good thing to bring up. My T has gotten teary or choked up a few times (not much though), but I have never seen or heard her cry and I would fall over from shock if she did. I don't know how she manages to not cry, but she doesn't and yet she is fully present.
sunnyshine
I think the bottom line is that you must go with your feelings. I think that sharing emotions can be validating and helpful, perhaps even more so when processing trauma; it has been for me, teaches me that my T is a real person with real feelings, not a blank canvas, that would be so triggering for me.
But I have never been uncomfortable with anything that she has told me, but would certainly feel able to tell her if it did and feel certain you must do the same. It will help you in the long run, if you are as honest as possible, even (and epecially)when it feels hard. It might also flag up to her if she has some personal issues that she might need to addresss in supervision herself.
starfish
I think the bottom line is that you must go with your feelings. I think that sharing emotions can be validating and helpful, perhaps even more so when processing trauma; it has been for me, teaches me that my T is a real person with real feelings, not a blank canvas, that would be so triggering for me.
But I have never been uncomfortable with anything that she has told me, but would certainly feel able to tell her if it did and feel certain you must do the same. It will help you in the long run, if you are as honest as possible, even (and epecially)when it feels hard. It might also flag up to her if she has some personal issues that she might need to addresss in supervision herself.
starfish