Liese. I'm sorry if you're feeling like you don't belong somewhere.

(((YAKU)))(((ERICA))))

Thanks for the hugs. I've been dismissing shame as a factor in my life but got in touch with it in the past week and now I know why I've been dismissing it. Ouch, does it hurt. Just recognizing how pervasive and damaging it can be. It sort of feels like, to me, I'm abandoning myself in an effort to not feel it. Does that make sense? Running from it allows me to avoid being angry at the other, much like your T was getting at Erica, on your thread, about how she let you down. Once again, abandoning the self. Uggghhhhh.

Liese, I think this pain is at the heart of a great deal of interpersonal pain. I remember very specifically times when a glance told me I was excluded--nothing hurts quite in that way. I'm not sure why being accepted is such a powerful human need, but it definitely is.

I think it is great that you are recognizing and sharing these feelings, and helping others think about them too. I hope you'll be able to feel like you e unravelled some of this for yourself soon.

ouch! and so true!
it brought to mind a time when i volunteered for a church function to rake leaves on elderly peoples' lawns. there was a luncheon for the volunteers at the end of the activity, and i remember approaching a group of women in an effort to be social and neighborly. one of the women looked at another woman in the group kind of like "who is this peon" and it wasn't my imagination, she was being quite judgemental even though she knew nothing of me. i felt extremely ashamed, even though i did nothing to deserve it. i never went back.

i'm sorry if you're feeling rejected, left out, or judged. none of it is right.

Feeling excluded and that you dont fit in is extremely painful.



You 'belong' and are accepted as you are here Liese (((liese)))

(((EXPLORING)))

I do feel I've hit some sort of starting and ending point, if that makes sense. The starting point of where it all began many many years ago and the ending point of my search to get to the bottom of all my pain. Thanks for the encouragement, support and understanding.


(((CD)))

I've had experiences like that. There you were doing something good but because of the way you were treated, you didn't go back and they lost a wonderful volunteer. I'm sorry.


(((SAPHIRE-BLUE))))

Thanks so much to say I belong and am accepted here as I am. That means so much to me.

((LIESE)) Just remember that it is the "Property Of Fools, That Are Always Judging You"..... Its very painful to be judged, and unfortunately that's what people seem to do. But just know that it says a whole lot more about them, than it does you. I'm truly sorry that you do not feel like you belong. I really care about you, and hope you keep sharing with all of us on this forum. A Trillion

((((EME))))

Thank you so much. It means a lot to me. I think I'm just really starting to understand how much not feeling like you belong can be so detrimental. I have glimpses now and then of belonging in general and it feels really nice. In those moments, I'm able to ward off insecurity and feelings of rejection. I can really see how a sense of belonging would buffer you in life.

Dear Liese,
I appreciate your posts so much, thx for sharing. I would be really interested how you started to feel and experiance shame in theraphy. I started my weekly sessions about 5 month ago and I resonated with this. I think I have a lot of shame issues but Im still wearing that coat which allows me to hide. In fact my therapist says I play hide and seek with her which I felt really true. The little me is still hiding from her though there is nothing I wanted more that she comes forward or at least takes a step forward. So I would really really love to hear your experiances and I think you are really brave. Do you feel sometimes how exciting our journey is?:-) lots of love!
Ps: this is my first post on these forums but I have read a lot of the threads and just love it!