Oooh, now this is a topic that's got me. First off, it really sucks that your T can't see you anymore. That would be really really hard to go through? And also ouch.

I actually find it kinda useful when my Ts are emotional. Like, I see the kind of emotion I'm probably supposed to be having? And it kinda helps. I told a while back about making Tfella tear up a bit, once or twice - I guess my stories were sad, or some such.

The one time it really got me was when he kept flinching. I had to have a flinch-free therapeutic experience. He didn't even realize he was doing it - it was practically like a twitch.

I imagine he spent some time practicing in the mirror after that.

I agree with Wynne, that is is helpful for me to see the emotion in my T. She has teared up a few times. Some when I am talking about something that is really hard/sad for me, but also when I was reading something that I had written about how I feel about her. It makes me realize that she is really listening to what I am saying and feeling my feelings with me. It helps me to feel validated. That what I feel is really ok because it [B]is[/B ]what I feel. It has also made me more comfortable in telling her some of my most difficult feelings. There was one time, (and I told her this a few sessions later) that I felt as though our hearts touched. It was very powerful for me. (especially since I've never touched her physically )). When I told her this, she was very accepting of it and again validated my feelings.

PL

My T is very emotive and expressive. I love that about her. She has shared tears with me which I think adds to the intimacy and authenticity of the relationship through such attunement. I feel like she works from the bottom of her heart.

I like how you said that it felt like your hearts touched, PL. That is a very powerful feeling indeed, whether you touch physically or not. But I am sure that you will do that too, but it is most importantly felt in the heart. That's beautiful.

Emerald,

I'm so sorry your T is leaving. If my T left now...well, let's just say it would be really really bad for me. I hope you land on your feet with another great T as soon as possible.

My T is not overly emotional, and I like that. He's not emotion-less, but he's pretty serious, and I like that. This is kind of messed up, but if I saw him become emotional, guess what...that's right, I think I would see that as weakness on his part, even though I cry just about every day. I have this idea that I need him to be "strong," even though I know that being strong involves being emotional. See how confused I am?

But he is very serious. He thinks he now knows what the root of my issues are, and it's very disturbing and I'm resisting it. The other day when I was asking, again, if he was sure about this, he became as serious as I've ever seen him. He looked at me sternly and said, "I am not toying with you."

But, he does have a great, dry sense of humor, which I love.

Russ

quote:

My T is not overly emotional, and I like that. He's not emotion-less, but he's pretty serious, and I like that.

Russ, I think he is demonstrating how safe emotions are when they are balanced with reason and deep concern for someone you care about. Through his strength tempered with just enough gentleness, you learn how to safely and appropriately express yourself. And I think you are doing a fabulous job. You're confused because as you well know, you were taught it was wrong to show emotions and now you know that is not true and there is still a little internal conflict going on with that. But true strength will prevail, and grown men do cry, and express love and anger and survive.
JM

quote:

Originally posted by Just Me:

quote:

My T is not overly emotional, and I like that. He's not emotion-less, but he's pretty serious, and I like that.

Russ, I think he is demonstrating how safe emotions are when they are balanced with reason and deep concern for someone you care about. Through his strength tempered with just enough gentleness, you learn how to safely and appropriately express yourself. And I think you are doing a fabulous job. You're confused because as you well know, you were taught it was wrong to show emotions and now you know that is not true and there is still a little internal conflict going on with that. But true strength will prevail, and grown men do cry, and express love and anger and survive.
JM

Thanks, JM. Yeah, I've got the sadness and crying down pretty good. Now I'm just waiting for the Anger Train to come by and pick me up.

Hey Russ, I was actually thinking about you and all of this yesterday and wondered if I should swing by and pick you up. The "anger train" is no joy ride but it feels better than just sitting at the depot waiting for it to come. I've had quite a thrilling ride all day yesterday. I am hoping to hang on to a little respite today before my next "departure."

quote:

Originally posted by Just Me:
Hey Russ, I was actually thinking about you and all of this yesterday and wondered if I should swing by and pick you up. The "anger train" is no joy ride but it feels better than just sitting at the depot waiting for it to come. I've had quite a thrilling ride all day yesterday. I am hoping to hang on to a little respite today before my next "departure."

Yes! Please pick me up! I'm just standing at the depot, having the occasional, unfocused tantrum. I'm dying to know what it feels like to actually be on the train and moving forward. Do tell!

I think that its good for them to express there emotions as long as it doesn't feel like the client has to then take care of the therapists emotions. I think that its helpful though for the therapist to show emotion because it's healthy and shows that they are human, well hopefully

I wrote a long letter to my T once and at the end I thanked her for being such a big part in my healing and for putting up for me ect. I told her that I could tell she really cared and she can't fake that. She actually cried and said it was so nice.

Although I wouldn't want my T crying uncontrollably ALL the time... I see nothing wrong with her crying during sessions every now and then. She is human.. and I feel that if she cries during a session with me it shows she really cares. Also I feel that FEELING AND CRYING IS BAD... so its nice to see that really its healthy and good =)