I never use any name to him in person. I can't call him anything. It's like claiming him in some way. If he calls me anything, I have a similar reaction. Connection and then fear of connection. I am just starting, after two years, to make eye contact.

One little calls him, "Dr. [first name]."

One teen (who is kind of a jerk, big brother type) calls him, "Captain Obvious," but only when he says something that should be really obvious.

To everyone outside of therapy, I call him "Dr. [last initial]" or just "my therapist."

I have a nickname for one of my T's. Ha... I can't say what it is though because it's too associated with her name in a way.

Anyhow, I told her about it one day but I started with the how I thought about it - which the how I thought about it (was completely random) could lead to two possible nicknames - one decently rude and the other one normal (which is the one I use). Anyway she was like "GLAD IT WAS __x__ INSTEAD OF __y___ because if it was __y___ I was going to be like coughF***Y**cough" (which is exactly how my T is lol). I don't say it to her, but rather only occasionally when talking about her with others.

Sorry random slightly related story but T called me something in jest just... really distasteful by anyone's standard (but hilarious, after I picked my jaw up off the floor - I got her back with a little of my own brutal teasing a couple sessions later). My T has even listed out a plateful of things I've probably called her... and I'm sure she's thought them with me too sometimes (she's the most loving person on the planet but she is extremely human).

T2 doesn't have a nickname.

Sorry for all the rambling. I say my T's names to them occasionally and always on phone messages.

I can't even say the name of mine, I have trouble even thinking, as I have problems with my own name when it is said. But I call him, to the outside world, "my man". I am going to see "my man". I quite like that.

I am fairly certain I have never used her actual name. I used Dude, but eventually she requested I stop so I call her nothing. I rarely refer to her specifically in general, but if I do, I refer to her as that woman or that therapist.

I call mine by her first name although it did take me several months to do so (she introduced herself that way to me at our initial session so I knew it was "okay" just never could quite manage it). One day it just slipped out very naturally and I haven't had a problem saying her name since.

No real nick names, although I have developed the habit of thinking of her as "T" sometimes, thanks to this forum, lol.

In my normal outside of therapy life, I tend to be fairly generous with terms of endearment with those I'm close to-- I say "my dear", "dahling", "love", and so on. Wish it would be okay to do that with T but I feel it probably isn't.

Once or twice she has called me "miss" plus my first name, said affectionately. I liked that.

P.S. scars09, have to say I love your nickname for your T. That made me smile.

I never address him by name. I never have. But, when I am speaking of him to my closest friends, I refer to him as Freud.

I think it's fascinating that some of us have a hard time naming our Ts. I do, and it's totally perplexed me. Like Non, if my T says my name, I do a double take. And a couple times he's used my nickname, and that just seems incomprehensible. I wonder what this reaction is all about?

I refer to her in stuff I write as DRI...I first initial of her last name. Sometimes "in my head" because her first name is so repetitive in my life but I can't use her real first name...I'll use lola...lolalolalola. I know that's goofy! She wrote a sticky note once for something and signed her first name...I hope that wasn't a hint for me to call her by her first name because it isn't happening.

Great thread. I like "my man" and "freud". Very funny.

I have a ton of names for my T but hardly ever call him anything unless I am joking around. When I write him letters, I'll write "Dear: and list all of the names I have accumulated for him over the years. The two nicknames that don't involve his actual name are:

Mr. Here and Now
Center of My Universe

I also have a nickname for myself in relation to him, which is "The Center of Your Universe". One time in session he asked why something bothered me and I told him it was because, "I want to be the Center of Your Universe". The next time I left a message for him, I identified myself as the "Center of Your Universe". The truth, though, is the he is the Center of My Universe and not vice versa.

I call my T by her first name. I actually asked her in one of the first few appointments what she wanted me to call her - first name or Dr. last name or what. She said I could choose so I went with her first name, just makes things a little less formal to me. (Oddly enough she refers to herself as Dr. last name)

I don't make a point of using her name when we talk, but I don't avoid it either. When talking to others about her I just say "my therapist"

I do have a slight fear that one day I'll slip up in therapy and call her "mom" which would totally be a huge slip and freak me out! (she'd probably think of it as no big deal though.)

Outsider,
I am commenting on what you said about those of us who have trouble saying our T's name...I don't do it because it seems so close...like I don't want to be that close...to be on a name by name basis...maybe it seems odd...given that therapy is supposed to be about vulnerability...but I don't do that well.

Just my thoughts...T.

A close friend of mine started seeing a therapist right about the same time I did. We were teenagers at the time. We used to call them our "Koo-Koo head Dr's". Lol...I call her by her name when I am talking to her but I call her my "Koo-Koo head" to anyone else. Funny, but I have trouble saying her name to other people, not to her. Seems opposite of most people on here. She calls me "Sunshine"...
Although I don't know why b/c usually I am the furthest thing from a ball of sunshine when I am around her...

Since others are talking about how their therapist refers to them...

T has no problem calling me (or any parts) by names. He uses all parts names effortlessly, though he hits a snag with "he" pronouns sometimes, because though they present as male inside, "we" are female.

He has called me Kiddo...a lot and for a long time. I've had no less than six people randomly call me that since starting therapy (including T and the psychiatrist I saw very briefly) without prompting. Weird, since my dad called me that.

He will call me "my dear" sometimes, which is really connecting, gives me the flutters. Like, usually in the context of, "Sorry to tell you, my dear, but it doesn't really work that way" (like about my illogical thoughts of things being my fault, etc.).

I think he has called the very little parts stuff like sweetie (or was it sweetheart or dear heart or honey or whatever, I don't remember, doesn't matter), but never me. He has used "little one" before with them too.

He understands how easily I get overwhelmed by the use of my first name, especially because a little part relates to that name and I actually don't really...usually feel more comfortable just signing with my initial. So, he refrains from using it directly too often, though will sometimes use it in the third person with other parts or other things like trying to make me imagine myself from the outside to be objective about something.

When he meets me in the lobby, he'll often say, "Hello, my little friend," or just "Hello, my friend," because I hate the little thing, brings up self-loathing.

Sometimes if he's talking about conversations with my insurance or imagined conversations with others (joking around about what it would be like to bring him to a family event, etc.), he will refer to me as his "client."

He has said I can call him by his first name, or Dr. [last name} or Dr. [last name initial]. He usually uses the last if he signs a text or referring to himself in the third person. A few times he signed a text with his first name initial. I think I feel most comfortable with using Dr. [last name initial], but the reality of our relationship is probably more one of a first-name basis. It's just that I don't feel like I have the "right" to it...


PS - TN, I have almost had a very little one call him Dad outloud!!! AHHHH!