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Therapist's pre-vacation countdown

thekidthekidMember
Hello everyone,

I suffer from severe abandonment issues and it just seems like every summer is sheer torture for me. Just the thought of some people who've become part of my support system going away on holidays plus my therapist for her 3-week vacation keeps me in a constant state of hyper vigilance. Even just seeing people drive out of the office parking lot Friday afternoon's triggers panic attacks. After being in therapy for ~5 yrs, I would have thought they would ease just a little. I'm at the point again that I'm not sure I can tolerate seeing her for my next 3 bi-wwekly appts before she goes away in july. I really try not to let myself get into the vicious thought cycle but I inevidibly do anyway. It's one of the reasons I decided to join this web site. Anyone have any thoughts?

Auntie Crash
Original Post
thekidthekidMember
Hi RT,

She has given me an object to keep from her Sand Tray that I can look at/touch whenever I want. Yes, she does leave a backup resource available to me but, of couse, it's not the same. Unfortunately, due to very early (and serious) childhood attachment trauma, it doesn't take much to be triggered. I know she's trying to build my tolerance to people leaving, but because it's trauma based, it feels the same as it did when it happened. Ikm trying to divert thoughts, but that ain't the part of the brain that's in the driver's seat at the moment.

The Kid

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