Hi Pinki2,
Welcome to the forums! It's tough to say whether or not you're therapist is being cold with you by saying that (although I must admit it sounds harsh and I would have been upset also). If there is something she thinks you need to realize, it is often better to let you get there yourself than to hit you with something you may not be ready to hear yet. But in either case, often the best way to handle this kind of situation is to talk to your T about how you felt about what she said. If she can listen to your feelings and discuss what she said without getting defensive about what she said and keeping the focus on how YOU feel, then you can feel more certain she's a good therapist whom you can trust. On the other hand, if she gets defensive and focuses on how she was feeling, these would be major red flags. Therapy should be about your needs.

And I did want to let you know that I moved your post. The Chit Chat forum where you originally posted is meant to be a kind of "therapy free" zone where members can talk but not about anything too serious or triggering, so I moved your thread to the Coffee Talk forum where it's more appropriate. PLEASE do not at all worry, this is absolutely NOT a big deal nor should you feel bad, it's always confusing when you start posting. But I also didn't want to move your thread and leave you wondering about what happened. I'm really glad that you posted, and I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

AG

Hi, Pinki2 and welcome to the psych cafe. Therapy is hard because we often have to hear unpleasant truths about ourseleves, yet- if it is done with coldness or indifference than I think that would make it a lot more painful to hear than it would need to be. Of course, there is always the chance that it is hard to hear her acceptance of where you are at because of transference or projections as they say. SO try what Ag said! You could tell her that she feels cold when she tells you things and that you feel you need a bit more gentleness. If she responds with something that makes it all your problem not hers, than that would be real painful, and a sign that she might be being defensive. Let us know how it goes!