Hi Pattie, welcome

I think that if my P started to take more time off than she was working, I would probably explain to her how I felt and then ask her for a referral to someone else if she felt that things weren't going to settle down in the near future. If you are paying for your sessions, you don't want to feel like you have to start over every three weeks!

Good luck!

Holly

Hi Pattie... I would find this type of schedule very disconcerting and difficult to work with. One of the main points of therapy is it's consistency to give you a sense of stablization. It is very important to be able to count on your therapist being there for you when you need HER not when it's convenient for her to be there for you. I have a standing appointment each week unless it's interrupted by holidays or vacation time (which for my T is very minimal). And even then I feel an aching emptiness when I am not able to be there there at my normally scheduled time. There is a certain rhythm to therapy that makes it easier for you to open up and do the deeper work that needs to be done. If this rhythm is constantly interrupted then I would see where you could become frustrated by not making progress. Now I'm not even saying the appointment needs to be at exactly the same time each week but skipping long periods of time can be disruptive to a patient... especially at the beginning of the relationship.

My honest reaction is... unless you have a deep, emotional attachment to this therapist you should find someone else who keeps a more consistent dependable schedule. I would also be honest with her and tell her how you are feeling and then you can either ask for a referral or find another T on your own.

Welcome to the Board and I wish you the best. Let us know what happens.

True North

Hi to you both, and thanks for your thoughts, its reassuring to know that Im not over reacting. Im not sure I would be able to tell her how I feel at this point cause I dont think that my saying anything will change the situation and so perhaps its time for me to get another T. Ive battled with the whole relationship thing anyway.
many thanks and take care
Pattie.

Pattie,

I saw your post, but I've been sick, so I couldn't respond until now.

I agree with Holly and True North on this. I don't see how therapy can work if it's inconsistent. If it were me, I would wonder how important her clients are to her if she's always off doing other things. If you're not too tied in with her emotionally, I'd look for someone new.

Good luck. Keep us posted.

catgirl

Hi to you all,
Thank you so much for your feedback. With your encouragement I have emailed to explain how I find the stopping and starting difficult and suggested that I would perhaps attend monthly rather than weekly when at least I would know where Im at and asked what she thought. She text back to say that she couldnt access her mail, and if it wasnt fixed she would talk to me at my appointment on Thursday. Knowing that shes away the following week, back for one week and away again for another week, Ive texted her this evening to say that I will not attend this week and if shes got an appointment during the 2nd week of June when I know shell be back from both trips, that I would go then. At least Im avoiding tha sense of stopping and starting that I hate so much.
Many thanks you guys for your support and encouragement, I will let you know how it goes when I hear from her.

Pattie

Hi there,
Well just to fill you in on developments. As you may remember I cancelled my appointment for this week and requested one for 4 weeks time when i thoughts she might be back and suggested that I would change from weekly to monthly which would make it easier in that I would know where im at at might reduce the stopping and starting of therapy.
My T requested that I would not cancel this week as she would like to explore how I could be supported when she was away. In the end I did go to hear what she had to say, but there wasnt any real solutions apart from going two times a week when she is working. Im not keen on that and explained that to her. I left the session feeling that I was being unreasonable, however most of her clients are weekly, so I do wonder how they deal with it. Anway I asked for an appointment for 4 weeks time, but it turns out shes AWAY AGAIN then and so the next appointment would be 5 weeks from now. I rest my case!!!
Nothing much acheived, I have resigned myself to giving this a limited period of time to see how it works from my point and if it works fine, but if not I will move to another T.
What really does annoy me is that she knew some months ago that I was having difficulty with the timescale of things and trying to get encouragement to move forward having a sense that I was stuck, and I was trying to make a decision if I would continue with this type of therapy, or would I benifit from more focused short term work and I decided that I would continue down this road, she knew at that time she would be tooing and foring, but did not bring it to my attention then when I would have had more facts in order to make an informed decision rather than ending up having to resign to stopping and starting, it never settled down and she knew it wouldnt. Anyway thats how its turned out. So Im properly going to seek a referral to another therapist.
Many thanks you guys and all the best with your journeys.
Pattie

Pattie,
I'm glad that you're taking care of yourself and seeking a referral to another therapist. Clearly, your needs aren't being met with this therapist. You are taking a brave step in moving on.

catgirl

Hi Pattie;

quote:

Many thanks you guys and all the best with your journeys

You sound like you're leaving us! I hope not.

I'm glad to hear that you have decided to get another referral. The whole idea about therapy is to give you consistency and someone you can count on to be there when they are supposed to be.

It's a big step, but will likely be the best thing for you!

Be well!
Holly