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Therapy Confusion

unbrokenunbrokenMember
So, yesterday I wrote about how I am attached to my T. It's intense. Today we had our session, and I felt better. I felt like I could manage it, and handle it. She talked to me about some skills...giving myself positive affirmations, realizing where the stress is at, and centering myself. I felt good during our session. Things seem to be working for me, and I am able to transpose those things into my real life relationships. But, there is definitely a twinge of attachment to her that exists behind all of this... will that ever go away?

My confusion exists with how long therapy is going to last. Is because I had a good session today, a good sign that we are almost done with our work? Or will I go back and forth. I am just not sure what to expect. Anyone have the experience of a great session, you are managing your attachment fears, and then you fall back into it. Is there any set time frame on how long therapy is going to take? I have seen my therapist for a little over a month now twice a week. Do you think I am almost finished? Or Do you think she thinks I am done? Or is there a WHOLE other side of this process that I am unaware of?

Also, when I sat down on the couch today in her office--I noticed long black hairs on the couch. It made me a little jealous! Grr. Who else is sitting on my couch having conversations with my T? LOL!

Any advice on this would be awesome. Smiler
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mad hattermad hatterMember
quote:
Is there any set time frame on how long therapy is going to take?

Hi brokenillusions, I know this is a serious question and deserves a serious response, but I have to admit it made me laugh out loud. Not at you, please understand. Just that I think most of us here have asked ourselves that same question sometime in the beginning when we first began therapy. I know I asked my T the same thing. I thought she would surely kick me out the door after 3 or 4 months. In the beginning, I was not ready to commit long-term, so it was wise that my T evaded directly answering my question. You will find people here who have been in therapy only a few months, while others can boast 20 years or more. I don't want to scare you, but unless you are limiting yourself to some 16-week course of CBT, the end may not be in sight, especially if there are attachment issues. Brace yourself for the long haul and possibly think in terms of years, not weeks. The choice is always yours to leave earlier, of course, but I would go with a T who is very flexible about that. So you might want to put out some feelers with your T, such as asking, "Who gets to decide when I will leave therapy?" The answer should be YOU. That's my humble opinion.

quote:
Also, when I sat down on the couch today in her office--I noticed long black hairs on the couch. It made me a little jealous! Grr. Who else is sitting on my couch having conversations with my T? LOL!


Ah, yes. I have told my T that No One Else is allowed to sit on MY couch! She just laughed and said she liked that I felt that way, because it was a sign I was allowing attachment.
unbrokenunbrokenMember
Phew! Talking here makes me feel so much better. Thanks Mad Hatter. I appreciate what you are saying. I don't think I am scared that therapy will be forever, I am more scared of it ending too soon. I agree that I should ask my therapist who gets to decide when it's over. I like the idea that it's in my control. If I feel like I have control over that then I wont be as terrified of it ending soon.

I guess I keep thinking that I will run out of things to say or she'll have heard everything?

So, quick question. Will my attachment ease up and then come on strong again? Is it like a cycle?

I AM a total newbie with therapy so I REALLY have no clue what's going on here. Big Grin

I definitely don't like SHARING my T. She's mine.

She's amazing. I love her eyes, and when she looks at me I get butterflies in my stomach. I've got it pretty bad right now, huh???
yakusokuyakusokuMember
Yeah, I thought I'd see my T a couple of weeks to help my H out (who saw him first). Then, I thought maybe a few months and I'd been done. I've been there over 10 months now and it is looking like probably years. It really depends on what type of therapy your in. I would encourage you to ask your T about these things. Most therapists won't answer how long, but it never hurts to air your concerns.

As far as the jealousy stuff, can you imagine having to share a T with someone you know? I usually have no problem that H and I see the same T, but when I'm having trouble waiting for my next session and H gets to see him on Monday (like he will this week) and I have to wait until Tuesday (as I most likely will), it can be rough! Also, hearing most of his other clients call him by his first name is really hard, because he is always Dr. _ to me, for some reason. Wink

Edit: my attachment comes and goes, but for me that's probably more parts related. Eventually, things will probably seem more secure over all, so even if your attachment doesn't ease up, you'll be secure about it and maybe not worrying about it quite as often, making separation more bearable.
unbrokenunbrokenMember
So, it looks like I might be in for the long haul. LOL! Well, that's okay with me. I am just scared T will start pushing me out sooner or something. I have a lot of issues in my past that we need to work through, and our main issue of working through this attachment this is primary right now.. since I find myself attaching to strong older female role models. I think it's because my mother was such a weak figure in my life that I do this. BUT, I'd be okay with paying T forever to play that role...

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