Imagine someone locked you in a box, without food, for several months. At first, you faced horrific despair at your deprivation. You became so hungry, you thought you would die. But you didn't die. Somehow, you found a way to survive the lack of food. After a while, you achieved something akin to normalcy. The hunger pains that were, at first, almost maddening eased off to a dull ache that could be ignored for long stretches of time.

Then one day, someone comes along and lets you out of the box. And the first thing they do is hand you a cake. You stare at this thing in your hands. A cake? You haven't seen a cake in ages—maybe never. The aroma of it is both alien and divine. It beckons to something long absent, yet somehow familiar. Your stomach clenches and your mouth salivates.

But you don't eat it right away. Instead, you proceed through the following steps:

Step 1: You decide the cake isn't real. It can't be real. People don't just show up in your life and start handing out free cake. You didn't do anything to earn this cake. You don't deserve this cake. After all, someone saw fit to deprive you of all food for all those months in the box. That means you aren't fit to eat cake. Cake is for “good” people. This person giving you the cake must be mistaken or have an agenda.

Step 2: You accept that the cake is real, but refuse to eat it for some or all of the following reasons:

- Eating the cake will destroy the survival mode you've developed. It took a long time to learn to live without food, and what if this is the only cake you'll ever get? Eating it will just restart the painful process of learning to live without. And you don't have the strength to go around that bush a second time.

- Eating the cake will turn you into an insatiable eating machine. You'll inhale the cake in one bite and it won't be enough. You imagine you'll go crawling on your hands and knees like a ferocious animal, devouring whatever crumbs you discover—even if they're not yours to eat.

- It was inappropriate for your rescuer to give you the cake in the first place. It was a lovely gesture, really. But cake is a gift given to friends, family and lovers. You are none of those things. The rescuer acted immorally by giving you the cake. And if you eat the cake, what will that say about you?

- The cake will make you sick. You've never had cake before. Your body isn't accustomed to handling such richness. What if it kills you?

- You're afraid you'll never get another cake. Once you eat it, it will be gone forever. And the thought of parting from your rescuer to go look for cake elsewhere seems unthinkable. So instead of eating it, you try to carry the cake around with you. The smell of it drives you mad.

- You decide that you don't need cake. In fact, you hate cake. You didn't ask for it, and it's too much trouble to eat, anyway. Eating cake makes you appear weak. How dare your rescuer burden you with such a thing! Who asked you?!

Step 3: You decide to eat the cake, but you're still conflicted about it. It tastes sooooo good, far beyond what you possibly imagined. Your cells are finally getting nourishment, and your body is becoming stronger. But eating the cake is awakening your long-suppressed appetite and throwing all of your emotions into chaos. You're still convinced that this is somehow inappropriate, and you don't know what you're going to do when the cake is finally consumed.

Step 4: F**k it. You love this cake and you're going to savor every bite. The reservations you had before about eating it finally melt away. You're deeply grateful to your rescuer for this gift of cake. It is life-giving. The world has blossomed into a beautiful place.

Step 5: Repeat steps 2 through 4 about twelve hundred times.

Step 6: You eat all the cake. You are satisfied and feel confident in your ability to find more on your own. You want cake. You deserve cake. You say goodbye to your rescuer and begin the journey to obtain a steady source of bigger and better cake.

Step 7: You make your own cake.

Step 8: You receive cake from others.

Step 9: You give cake to others.

Hope you enjoyed.