Hi kmay. I'm sorry you're going through this, and I think I understand your frustration and dismay. It's awful when things go bad with a T.

I once asked/demanded that my T send "my" notes to me so I could go find a different T. She refused. Obviously, this was an angry moment for both people, but what she told me is "No one sees my notes except me. I destroy them regularly, to protect your confidentiality."

Truthfully, I don't think she writes much down, but since I hardly ever look at her, I can't be sure. However, she does have a big, thick folder, which she refers to as my "chart." Whatever it's called, I think patients have a right to see any paper that has their name on it.

At the time of this rupture with my T, she said if I had to have something in writing, she would write up a brief summary of my treatment. That's it. I declined, so I never got to see what that might have been like.

What you're describing would hurt me too and, yes, make me really mad. Ts have so much power over their patients--the least they could do is explain their actions and be gracious in the termination process. I know they're human too, but IT"S THEIR JOB to be able to handle strong emotions and difficult conversations and complicated situations. And it seems unprofessional for them to undertake such an important job and then have no real records to document their work.

Again, kmay, I'm sorry. Therapy is so discouraging sometimes.

RabbitEars

Kmay... oldT took notes for the first few sessions when he was getting some background, history stuff. Then he never took notes until the last few sessions before he abandoned me. When I requested his session notes it took NINE WEEKS to get them and he was obviously trying to reconstruct them (using my emails to him as a guide) and they were all wrong and inaccurate and really stupid. I was writing in my journal after each sessions so I obviously had the accurate info on what we discussed. He never wrote his own opinion on anything. His notes said stuff like... patient angry today, patient talked about childhood, patient talked about parenting. Nothing substantial until the last session when he wrote that "I" decided to find a new T and left him when I found one. Blatant lies.

My current T never takes notes at all in session. He said all he needs to know is in his head. He does jot down general stuff (he told me this) at the end of the day but he writes very little to protect me and my privacy. His notes are pretty ambiguous. In my case, I don't need to see them because he is so open he tells me pretty much whatever I would want to know about myself.

While what your oldT did is not unusual, her response to you was really inappropriate and I could see why you would be upset. What you want her summary to say is her clinical interpretation of your therapy and perhaps how she saw your dx.

BTW, my current T said he didn't really care what oldT wrote and that he forms his own opinion of a patient based on what HE sees during our sessions. And I was also pretty open with him so he had a good idea of how my last therapy went.

Sorry you are suffering so much through this.

Sending you hugs
TN

Hi Kmay,

I have been seeing T in a hospital clinic and she was required to write something after each visit.

When previous T left, I asked him about seeing my notes. He said I had the legal right to see them and request changes if I thought neccessary, but he advised against it. I said are they so bad!! He said that the notes are a brief summary of the session, but without details.He gave an example as I often have very quiet sessions, that it would not be very helpful for me to read that I was anxious and said only a couple of sentances. He also said the notes would seem very clinical and give no indication of our true relationship.

Now T is on maternity leave from the hospital and I am seeing her privately, I have had to sign a release so that she as a private practionor can access my hospital file and read the notes that she herselff wrote there!

When applying for the reimbusement for private therapy P neede to write a treatment plan, he based this on a draft from T. T showed me this before she gave it to him, but would not allow me to take it away and read it alone. She said it was very one sided and covered only my problems and not my positive areas and she wanted us to look at it together so that she was sure I understood and did not feel bad about it.

The whole area of notes seems to be very variable depending on whether T is writing them for himself or for an official medical record.

I think it is also tricky when the patient has the right to see the notes. I was curious to see what old T had written, knowing that new T would surely read it, but in the end I decided to trust T's judgement that it would not be helpful to me and could easily be misunderstood.
Of course it is even more complicated when the relationship has ended badly and you do not have that trust.

That was a long waffle, but I find it an interesting topic and am keen to hear what others have to say.

Hey Guys,

Thanks you so much for your responses. I ended up just chickening out. I signed the release, then took it back, then signed it, then took it back lol. I've decided not to get the records for now.
I'm debating weather to go back to the T or not. Nothing wrog with her, I just feel myself fighting it. And maybe I can't take it in and accept the help when I am in a state of mind like this. So, I'm doing some reading. Working on some self healing. I will see how that goes. Thanks so much for your support friends.

Hi, Kmay.

It's been good to see you here again. I can totally relate to the vacillation. It is so hard for us to know the right (best) thing to do. I'm sorry I don't have any words of wisdom. Just support.

Kmay,
I've moved a lot so I've switched T's a lot. The new T has never asked to see notes from the old T, and when I've offered to get them, the new T really hasn't been that interested.

I'm pretty sure all of my T's have written notes, but none have done it during session. I don't understand how they remember what we've said so well - I couldn't do it for multiple patients! But they pretty much do remember. The notes are just not the big deal I used to imagine them to be. I did sit down to go through my files with one psychiatrist (there were 2 thick files, he set me up in an office with some tea) - I got really bored really fast.
My present T read me a couple of notes, he said I was welcome to see the file but that it doesn't say much - YET he was able to go through his notes about me from 15 years ago (I moved away then returned) and the old notes did help us in the session.

I have also had T's tell me they would write a summary, not send a copy of the notes. From what I read in those notes, and from what current T read to me - I would say that the summary would probably be more helpful (and less boring) to the new T.

(Actually I'm glad there is no written record of the way I've behaved at times. Eeek, what if someone saw it?)

(((Outsider))) - Thank you.

Peanut - Thank you. You know when I finally talked to T about it, she said that it would be best for her to write a summary instead of giving all the detail. I started thinking about that in terms of my protection, instead of assuming she doesn't have any notes and it made more sense. There was a lot of stuff that "could" be in the notes that I probably don't want new T to see. Either way, I'm just not ready for it all yet. I sort of feel like a theray failure