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4 replies

they are just socks!

J janedoeMember
there are several posts I want to respond to... I’ve been swamped this past week... been reading, just no time or energy to type. This next week I'll have time to myself and I'll be checking in here for sure - if only to remind me of people and places unlike my crazy family I'll be spending some of my week with.

Tomorrow morning I’m getting on a plane and going to be with family - many family members who I have not seen in a long time and go back to the town I grew up in that I have not been in for a long time. I’m going to see a grandmother who is ill and a brother who is getting married…

I am packing and crying. I’m stressing over what to wear. Like seriously almost having a panic attack over what socks to pack. (they are all pretty much white and the same so I‘m REALLY getting nutty here…)

I’ll be seeing my father for the first time in 8 years. I don’t know how I feel about seeing him and he doesn’t speak to me and I don‘t expect he will… I dunno what to expect, and I don’t know what to do with it all, or what I really want, or how to manage all of this… but I keep finding that I so badly want to look… pretty, and like a very capable adult, and strong and… all kinds of things I don’t feel. I was a teenager the last time he saw me.

stupid socks. They are all the same brand, all are white - some short, some taller but no one is going to care about my socks or anything else I’m wearing for that matter!

I just want to be wanted and my socks are not going to make any difference. Or anything else I do! I think I wish I could just somehow pick the right clothes and words and things to do so everything would be ok…
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True NorthTrue NorthCo-moderator
Jane...I think the socks are just representing all the indecision and stress you are feeling about going home and seeing people who you have not seen for awhile and no wonder you are feeling a bit upset and out of sorts. Yes, they are only socks...I actually hate socks and hardly ever wear them especially in summer. Can you just go sockless? Seriously, I think you just need to be your sweet and kind self and that is more than enough for others. If they cannot appreciate you then they are losing out. You have grown so much lately and overcome so much. You are more than a capable adult you are also quite strong and caring.

Try to keep in mind that you are strong and courageous and that is enough. Try to enjoy the time and perhaps you will be pleasantly surprised and enjoy the trip more than you ever thought... even if your socks all look the same!!!

Bon Voyage and Hugs
TN
starfishstarfishMember
jill

Sympathies with you - I have such indecisions when packing. Of course it's not the socks themselves as TN said, but it's just one more decision, one more thing to think about, when your head is so full already, one more thing you might get wrong.

I hope that you get away ok and that you have a good trip.

starfish
J jillMember
janedoe, good wishes to you on this trip. this will be something good for you to 'accomplish' and i can so relate to the panic of unimportant things...socks...kind of like your brain protecting itself over all the bigger issues. and that long without seeing your father is a biggie.

i guess, my advise? keep your eye on the prize...getting through to the other side, and the view from there. i know i just let down a major wall with my parents for unreleated (to my therapy) reasons...dad's surgery...and the view from here isn't as bad as i thought. even today, i cut a 'tether' my mom was trying to 're-up' to keep her hooks in me. i felt a bit 'bad' doing it, but i can see now that, that was just old jill reactions...and i don't need to supply all (or frankly ANY) of my mom's needs. i picked that sticky thread off of my back and put it right back in her lap where it belongs, and, dang!! i felt GOOD doing it!!

i hope it goes well, ms. doe, and look forward to hearing about it!! jill

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