That would make me uncomfortable for sure. I think I would wonder if my conversations were being heard as well. You would think they would take more precautions to make the rooms more sound proof. At least white noise machines or something.

I haven't had this happen in T as my T doesn't have anyone else in the office the majority of the time. Every now and then there will be another client before me, but you can only hear someone is talking, but not actual words. I have had it happen in doctor's offices though and heard way more than I needed to hear about the patient next door!

Hi K,

Sorry you're struggling with therapy. I would have a tough time with hearing a client in the next room, too. I would probably panic at the idea that others had probably heard me telling my T stuff before. I feel for you. No one wants to worry that their personal stuff is out there to anyone more than their T. Telling our Ts our stuff can be bad enough sometimes, right?! Sorry you're having to deal with this. ((((K))))

How are things going otherwise?

MTF

kashley

Poor you, I would hate that to happen. My T also talks quietly, I always thought that it was in case anybody heard, but even when nobody is around she still does! Actually overhearing a conversation or having yours overheard is a definite breach of confidentiality and really needs to be addressed to protect everybody. Do you think you could bring it up? I expect your T would be mortified to think you were worrying about that side of the therapy relationship.

starfish

Hey everyone,

Thanks for the responses. Surprisingly, it didn't bother me much. Probably because I don't know who it is next door, they don't know who I am...and I guess I have decided to ignore it. Well and also because yesterday was a fairly quiet session in general. I don't know. I was so zoned out for most of the session that it might bother me more next time. Actually, I am normally one of the only people having a session, but to get me back in in 7 days, she scheduled me an hour earlier. Next week will be back at the normal time, so I don't think there will be a problem. I noticed a few sessions ago that there is a white noise machine, but it's kind of centered in the hallway for all of the doors. Where I went to therapy last time, they had white noise machines outside every door. When they were turned on, that was an indication that there was a session in progress. My T now has a sign that hangs on the door. I don't know...sometimes it makes me a little uncomfortable (if someone could hear what I am saying) and other times, it doesn't bother me at all. But I just thought it was so odd that a group of therapists wouldn't try to soundproof things a little better, you know?

Otherwise, the session was very good. When I was in my "blank space" my T said that she knew that I didn't know her very well, but she said she would come sit with me in that "space" if I wanted her too. I said that I didn't know, but it was really more of a no. At this point, the offer means way more than the action. I would have felt so incredibly uncomfortable. I don't know exactly why, though. I just can't imagine someone doing that. I was so dissociated that it was hard for me to put sentences together at times. My T tried to help ground me toward the end of the session, but it just wasn't happening. She then gave me her cell phone number, saying she didn't give it out lightly. I immediately told her that I'd never call her...it's just something I can't ever see myself doing. Ugh - the whole session was so beyond anything I've experienced before. I have a feeling that this next week is going to absolutely crawl by excruciatingly slow!

When I am sitting in the waiting room at my P's office I sometimes hear a few words that are said by the patient and it makes me wonder if other people can hear me. He is the only one in his office but I some times worry about if other patients hear me when we are talking about the transference or if the secretary can over hear the conversations from where she is sitting and what she must think about the things I say if she can. Sometimes it makes it harder to talk about the transference. But I try to remind myself that I am a pretty quiet person and my P never talks very loud, I dont think I have ever heard his voice through the wall unless he is on the phone with no patient in his office and then I think he probably has the door open. I guess its just his loud patients I can hear so I dont have to worry to much.

Hi all,

Well, I made this topic a while ago, but after my session today, I just can't resist bringing it back up.

I've been meeting with my T more often lately, and we always schedule sessions at the end of each one, so I never have a set time each week. It pretty much always changes. Lately, since we've been deciding to add another session into the week, my T is having to find a time that works for both of us with only maybe a few days notice. She shares an office with another woman, and they both share an office suite with several other Ts.

Today, as my T told me on Tuesday, we were in a colleague's office, because the woman she shares her office with had previously requested the same time. It felt kind of awkward being in this new room, especially since we were both in individual chairs that each faced the middle of the room (she had to move her chair so we at least somewhat faced each other), and there was a table with a big lamp between the chairs. It was set up like a lounge space, not a T's office.

Well, needless to say, I literally heard someone else's session going on. Two men, and they were talking about writing a letter to a woman and how it would be helpful for him, and even just writing the letter would help him detach from some of the emotions surrounding the relationship. I've been able to hear some thing through the walls before, but apparently this other office has thinner-than-paper walls. I tried to stay focused on what I was thinking/feeling, but it was pretty much a lost cause.

I didn't acknowledge it, and neither did my T, until I burst out laughing when I heard this other man's T start saying, "Even if you just say f*** you, that's better than nothing." My T seemed a little mortified (not necessarily about the cussing, but more about the fact that we could hear everything they were saying), and she apologized. I automatically told her it was fine, and she said no, that it wasn't fine. I also think that she was even more bothered about this instance, because in my last session she had to poke her head out the door and ask a group of a couple other Ts to take their conversation somewhere else.

Not really sure if this is a plus or not, but the whole thing did keep me from dissociating, considering I was paying more attention to this other guy's session than my own.

Kashley,

Oh sheesh!! That is horrible. I did laugh at your description at the end where you burst out laughing because I would have done the same thing. That is unacceptable for there to be such non-confidential space in a T setting. They really need to figure out some better soundproofing or a different office space.

My sons T has foam padding on all of the doors and walls and then she has them covered with decorative curtains and then has those draft blocker things under the doors as well. She is in private practice with no other T's in the office so I guess it is just for blocking sound in the waiting room. Anyway, they need to figure out something because I don't see how anyone could be ok with doing therapy if they thought all of their thoughts were being heard.

This is really a pet peeve of mine. My shrink HAD a solo practice, then recently took on a protege - a relatively unseasoned MS who is LOUD and talks incessantly. In my current depressive, PTSD state, I have the attention span of a grape. It is impossible not to hear what is being discussed a couple of feet on the other side of the wall and it is completely distracting. The first time, it made me cry uncontrollably. Once it was hysterical becasue of all the screaming and crying. Mostly it made me angry. I eventually changed my time beyond her working hours. Bliss.

Another P from years ago located his secretary right up against his office wall - she played music, talked loudly on the phone, and other assorted distracting activities. I commented once, and he rather chided me on my lack of concentration. We didn't last too long.

I'm easily distracted, especialy when the the conversation is uncomfortable. Besides, I have a curious streak -- interested in what kinds of things other people discuss in therapy, wondering if my problems/sessions are "normal".....

My current T says he is considering putting some insulation within the walls. Not sure how it doesn't bother him. But I won't worry unless my appointment time changes.

Drifty.......

STRM, MH, and Drifty (Welcome!!)...thank you for your responses.

When I think about the whole thing afterward, I think I didn't feel safe on some deeper level that I'm not really in touch with yet. I had a really hard time concentrating on anything, and my mind was completely blank. Not in a dissociative sense, but more in the way that I block myself off from the feeling part of me so that I can "be myself" to the rest of the world. It was a little odd, because at one point when I was hearing this other conversation, I really noticed other noises, like someone's laughter down the hall and the ticking of the clock. All bets were off for thinking clearly after that!

I do think my T was really disturbed at how clearly we could hear things, and considering we had some of the same issue last session when we were in her office, I got the feeling that this isn't something she'll just brush over. I can't figure out how much it bothers me, though, because when I'm talking, I don't really think about being heard, although I would certainly hate it if someone did hear what I was saying.

quote:

My sons T has foam padding on all of the doors and walls and then she has them covered with decorative curtains and then has those draft blocker things under the doors as well.

That would certainly feel cozy and safe..hmm. That would be nice.

quote:

so i much prefer driving 45 min. to her main office cuz of how much safer and inviting the environment feels there. i think our best work has been done in her main office.

I'm glad you're able to have that choice, MH. It's so important to feel safe. I honestly don't really know what they can do about it...The office doesn't look like it's been changed for quite a few years. So there's obviously been tons of other people to come in there and do therapy. Wouldn't this have been noticed before? I don't know why it would change with me.

quote:

My current T says he is considering putting some insulation within the walls. Not sure how it doesn't bother him.

Hi Drifty, I also sometimes wonder how hearing other conversations doesn't bother my T. In the session before this one, she asked me if the conversation outside the door was bothering me, and I said no (I think that may have been a lie, but I was feeling quite spacey by then, too), but a minute or two later she said it was bothering her so she went to the door and asked them to move. Other than that, she's never mentioned the fact that you can hear other conversations, and I haven't mentioned it either. The last two times, though, are the only times I could actually make out whole words, phrases, and sentences. Other times it's just the voices but no discernable words.

Hi Kashley I hope your T can sort something out about all the noise and intrusion into your therapy - and that you don’t feel too threatened by knowing that others outside the walls may be able to hear you!

Had to laugh along with you about what you heard - I know if I were in a place where I could hear someone else’s therapy I’d be desperate to listen to what is going on - just because I’m nosey and really would like to know firsthand what someone else’s therapy is like. Ack which probably means anyone who could hear mine would probably have wigging ears too!

I see my T in a rented house which is shared with a commercial business and though most times it is quiet and I forget that other people are around, occasionally I hear a door close or someone walking down the corridor - and that bothers me, even though I know they can’t hear most of what is said, if I ever raised my voice or even wanted to yell or cry really loudly (neither of which are likely at the moment ) I would be super aware that other (non-therapy inclined) people would be easily able to hear it. And then when I go to my car I have to go past where these people are sitting at their windows etc so yeah that’s quite offputting.

I guess the bottom line is just forgetting all about stuff in the outside world for the duration of the session. Hard to do I know if outside voices can actually be heard in your sessions. But I take the view that no-one is particularly bothered by what they might hear, at most they might see me as some curiousity (see there goes one of his patients type of thing). Maybe it’s good practice for getting our stuff out there? There really doesn’t seem any solution except T moving offices, is that likely?

Just wanted to add a hello to Drifty too - welcome to the forum!

LL

Hi LL,

Sorry it's been a few days. I think I'm okay with the possibility of other people hearing me so long as I never see them and never find out who they are! Even then...

I had a session yesterday, and we were in the other office again, but there wasn't anyone having a session next door, so it was quiet. It was a million times better. I think my next session will be back in my T's regular office, though, which is actually a big relief now that I think about it.

I'm sorry I haven't been posting much lately. I'm in a bit of an odd place right now.