Hi, Had a session the other day with T. I felt this dark feeling before I even sat down. The main topic we discussed was my PTSD and safety regarding my husband which is dark stuff. He said I might get upset but he felt he had to discuss how I might over-react if I felt threatened by Husband and with both of us having guns, it would be very a very unsafe situation. But then he started telling me about two other patients, one he testified for claiming PTSD as a defense, and about another patient who is hiding out in a trailer from her abusive ex.
It seemed like he took half our session to talk about them. I just sat there and nodded. Then he said, "oh so you know I am going away next week and cant see you" No I didn't, kick in the stomach. Another vacation. I walked out feeling like crap.

I could resist sending him an email that night, I'm sure he expected it. I told him I preferred that he not discuss his other patients with me...which is one of my beefs with him. That I want to be the sole focus as it takes away from me. He says he uses examples to make me see other people have similiar problems. This doesn't help me. Half the time his stories dont resonate with me and I have to ask, what is the point? Meanwhile we have wasted my precious time with him. So he said he would stop or at least ask before hand if he could bring one up. I also told him I feel off balance when he is away. That my feeling of isolation and lonliness increases. He apologized about me not know he was going away, that he would let me know sooner next time he takes one of his many trips. He said he would call me next week when he is away to check in. So even though it was through email, I'm glad I had the guts to tell him this. I should take this time to do something that would please him, to get out of isolation and do something special or different for myself. He would be happy to hear I just didn't crawl into bed for two weeks in his absence.