I brought up the projected length of therapy very early on. At the time I was thinking it would be 12 to 16 weeks max, haha. I'm now at 95 sessions and counting... I think I knew deep down that I needed more than just brief therapy, and yet I was afraid to admit it, ask for it, or commit to it. My T never really gave me a specific time frame. If she had, it would have scared me away. The first time I asked about the length of therapy, in probably the 2nd or 3rd session, she said it depended on if I had abuse in my past. When I said, "What if I did?" she only replied that it was going to take a bit longer. I think it was the 5th session when I told her I just didn't want to get into it all if we were only going to have a few more sessions, that it required too much of an emotional investment. That's when she first told me that she would not abandon me, and that it would be up to me to decide when I was ready to end. However, that certainly was not the last time we've ever discussed it. She has continued to reassure me that she will not abandon me, although she's also said she doesn't think she's going to be around for another 20 years. I'm sure she would be thrilled to see me make faster progress.

As far as the kind of treatment, that has been ambiguous. T did mention the possibility of EMDR and hypnosis in the 2nd session, and yet we've still never done either of those. It was probably between 6 and 12 weeks when I tried to pin her down on what method or style of treatment she was using on me, and would she elaborate on her philosophy. She just insisted she was eclectic and used some of everything. Over time I've seen that she leans more psychodynamic than CBT.

Jones,

How is it going? Jones, I think it's great to talk about a treatment plan early on. I was just such a mess that I couldn't. But if you can with manatee, I think it'll only help you feel in control. Also, length is something I ask about but T won't give me any answers. He says, it takes as long as it takes. There is no time limit. That's hard to hear because it takes away some of the control for me. So I have to remind myself that I can leave whenever I want. Or I can skip sessions. Though I never do. Just a game I play with myself.

Hope you are well.

Thanks guys.

I realised after making this that if you didn't have the discussion, you still had to fill out an answer for the second question, which makes for skewed results anyway. Oh well, it still helped to see this.

Liese, I'm okay, thanks. Will see how this conversation goes.

Jones

Hi Jones... treatment plans...with oldT... that is so funny it's sad. He asked me my goals and I said to get rid of the anxiety but also to find out where it comes from, the root of it. And that I wanted to accomplish something meaningful in my life and to be a better parent. His solution to the anxiety was to take meds (which I refused). The rest we just made up as we went along. He said I could stay as long as I needed to and that he would not reject me, abandon me, terminate me and that his door would always be open to me. Well, we know how true all of that was (not) He had no idea what we were doing.

With new T... we don't really have anything in writing. He says I need to integrate my inner child and my protector part, to heal the attachment wound, to process the old traumas and to work on relationship patterns. But right now I'm mired in so much grief over losing old T that we have not really been able to do much of anything else. He said it will take a year for me to get past the grief, it will take another year or two for us to get to know each other and then more time to work through things and then ... he says we will work on life changes, growth, new experiences etc. He says he will always be in my life in one way or another. He does not terminate.

TN

I've been kind of trying to get this info out of my T. Like, please label me! Please show me step-by-step how to get through this! But, I doubt he will, because I'm really good at pretending health and am an over-achiever and a people-pleaser and it might be dangerous to give me the tools to just do what I thought others wanted/expected of me.