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15 replies

TRUST

muffmuffMember
I was in my first year of therapy when I felt I had had enough of it. I was looking at a painting in the cuppa room, waiting for T. His door was open for me to go in, but I was frozen with fear.

T stood beside me, and we talked.

What's up?
I don’t think I can go in there anymore.

Do you know why?
I am afraid to.

A part from him pointing out I was afraid he might reject me, I don’t remember the other words he said. It wasn't what he was saying, it was the way he was saying it that convinced me he cared, and that’s all I needed to know to walk back into his office.



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blubluMember
TRUST.

This thread has been chewing at me.

I had an encounter this morning in which my trust was tested. I intuitively knew the situation/the person was trustworthy. And I was right.

And her...........my T. I don't trust her.
I don't.

I don't think I ever have.

And I wonder why I have stayed all these years forcing myself to trust someone that just never earned it in the first place.

..............................?
muffmuffMember
.

"And I wonder why I have stayed all these years forcing myself to trust someone that just never earned it in the first place."

I'm wondering if this is 'transference/projection Blu? As children we were forced into emotionally depending on our parents~ specifically Ma. Did we ever trust her?

The emotional (hostile) dependence we have towards our T is very similar.

And when we feel rejected by them (perceived or real) we begin to question if they *really* do care, enough for us to trust them.

Your a very bright spark Blu. I think you will work it out.
Last edited by muff
blubluMember
quote:
More lava to come Blu. It's a scary time waiting for the next eruption. One wonders if we will survive it.

The separation has begun. Courage Blu.




Something lead me back to this Trust thread....again....and again....and again.
Bleh.

See T in a couple days, and part of me wants to go in their guns blazing, hair on fire.....the other part wants to crawl into a hole. Eeker

She's proven she's trustworthy. SHE'S not the issue.........she never was.

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