so frustrating Mayo. I'm sorry that you are feeling so misunderstood. I can understand your h's anger (although it is not right) it makes sense at least- he wants something, attention, frm you, you can't give right now, he's mad. not right but makes sense. what doesn't make sense to me, is your t's reaction of being angry to the point of telling you to leave his office over something you wrote. (I don't know what it was, so have no context, bu tstill) a T shouldn't get mad at client, for expressing thoughts/opinions/beleifs- whatever- that just does not seem right to me. I hope you are able to work it out with him, and with your H, through candid dialog..

big hugs,

BB

Mayo, let's separate the sides of this for a moment...

On your side, you get more triggered by this kind of thing due to your past experiences. That is understandable, and maybe by processing you can reduce how much you get triggered.

On the other hand, I agree with BB that a T should not get angry and ask you to leave just because of expressing something.

Also, I really think your DH was being a bit unreasonable in expecting you to respond a certain way. That's most likely his own stuff getting triggered.

I've found that the worst marriage situations are when DH and I both trigger each other's stuff simultaneously :-( My only advice is for both of you to learn how to take a break, ground yourselves, and come back to negotiate the issue when you're fully calm and no longer triggered.

It sounds like your T was inappropriate and you DH is being like a normal DH sometimes: insensitive.

Men.

LOL

And you are sensitive to such friction because of your past. I am sorry it was so rough for you and I am glad you posted here as it probably helped vent some of it and we can send hugs