Because li'l one and I feel ourselves going thru so many changes and learning who's okay to trust and not to trust, we feel confused when it comes to friends. How do you know when a friend has your best interest at heart? This person prides herself in helping others, which I admire. But, I've heard her say privately many times "...after everything we've done for so and so, this is the thanks I get"? I don't think friendship should be about what you feel (or they feel) that person is owed.

I've let this person in, in so many ways and she knows the challenges I'm facing, she knows about my therapy with T and she's also been there for me when my mom turned on me when I had my dad examined by a doctor for his deteriorating short-term memory earlier this year. Since my brother's death three years ago, it's just been the three of us, so her backlash stunned and hurt me in ways that totally knocked me off my feet. This friend was there for me and let me literally cry on her shoulder during some very dark times. Do I owe her for that? I feel like I do. Now, I want to step back because I don't like the feelings that are coming up. And, unfortunately, because of the way she sometimes talks to me and others, li'l one gets badly triggered. This all feels very, very confusing.

The Kid and li'l one