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No, not the kind where you can't understand what planet they are from...

My T had something unexpected to attend to this week, which cancelled our session.

Do you ever get that feeling, the second your T is out of the country, or state, or area where you feel punched in the stomach and well up with tears?

I just spoke with her this morning on the phone but feel really anxious and far right now. I still feel connected just scared... I still know I'm fine and can take care of myself just scared... I know she'll be back just scared... I just feel inescapable fear? Confusion?

We've been really working with younger parts lately, very young parts.. those that needed everything, unable to separate themselves from another... so I think it feels like a tiny piece of my heart and security is gone. Reasonably, I get it... but being so open to myself lately I can't help but really feel the fear.
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Thank you miss draggles ((((((draggers)))))

I just want to sigh and pull the covers over my head and grumpily fall asleep. I actually passed out on the floor snuggling my cat right after I wrote this (I can sleep anywhere, any time - it's like selective narcolepsy almost!).

I feel unusually small. Not really like me. I need a buddy to have a tv marathon with... what kind of popcorn do you like!?
(((Cat)))

My T is away too right now for a holiday break and I had an extremely difficult session before she left, didn't know how to cope, had a lot of other things going on too and was an emotional mess. Right now I don't feel numb but just completely distant from my feelings and my connection with her and I'm wondering should I even go back. I can't really put words to it all. It is sort of a case of what's the point of going back? Does she really care? I don't want to give her the power to hurt me. I have no idea if any of that makes sense but I just wanted to say that yes when my T goes on holiday a lot of "abnormal" non-adult like feelings come up and it is a case of crumble - explode - shut them out - shut everyone out - numb - denial - why do I need you - stupid to think she cares ++++++++.............

You're not alone Cat!


B2W
((cat))

I can relate to your post and all the responses sooooo much!! It's intense. It's scary. It's miserable. Sometimes I think finding a safe place to ride through the waves of emotions is helpful, to let them all flow- the pain, fear, anger, numbness. And then trying to soothe the younger parts as much as possible and keeping busy to pass the time helps a little bit. Hang in there
AH

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