Hi Meta, Welcome.

I get a little uneasy when my Ts take vacation/I miss session with them because I'm very habitual. When I don't see my T's I have a hole in my week, I miss them and feel a little lost without them. When my T told me recently she was going on vacation I was happy for her, and also said I'd miss her. It's not uncommon for clients to get angry, feel abandoned, feel helpless, feel like they don't care, go back and fourth between 1000 things to feel - all of it is okay! And not feeling much, or just hoping she has a good time is perfect, too. It's your process. Not all attachment stuff is intense and it could depend on where you are 'in it' at any one time - you may not feel this same way (or you may) 2 months from now, 2 years from now, etc.

You're not doing anything wrong, your process is yours. I used to feel a LOT when I first started posting here that there was something inherently wrong with me for not having an attachment in the same way as others. Sometimes I still feel backward/wrong but I have done a lot of attachment work with my T - it's just been slow and I don't know if I'll go through the same stuff as other people have and it may be the same for you. There is no one way to do therapy (I've told myself this 1000x when I feel my attachment stuff doesn't fit in).

But anyway... just be open to what happens You're okay and how you feel is okay. You can do good attachment work with your T AND be okay with her going on vacation.

Hey there,
Fear not I'm a huge fan of my T- I think she's wonderful at her job, she challenges me on my crap and her guidance has/continues to help me grow hugely as a person.

But - when things come up that cause a session to be cancelled (this has only happened twice on her end in the 9 months I've been going to see her), or she goes away, there's a holiday or some such... I don't feel like my world is going to crash down either.

I worry about this too - As I wonder if it is another instance of me keeping my relationships at arms length in fear of their end... Because the alternative means I'm sane/capable enough to handle things like that - And I think we can all agree, we'd rather default to the 'we're screwed up' answer.

I will say thought - that the last time something came up and our session had to be cancelled or rescheduled - I originally opted to cancel. It took me less than a day to call back and beg for the appointment she'd offered as an alternative. BUT- I did so because I was having an awful week and needed a place to be 'not okay' for a little while. I realized that, when those things pop up and we 'need' to see our T's... that sometimes maybe it is about US..And not about THEM (/our attachments to them)

You're not alone

Awww, shucks guys. Thanks for making me feel better. I have to say, I'm working plenty of attachment stuff with the wife, so I'm a little grateful to NOT have to navigate my feelings about my T.

THANK YOU!

Meta, my husband is like you. He has very anxious attachment towards me but basically none to his T. It just depends on the individual I think.

Thanks BLT -

Yeah, I think I'm pretty cemented on the one attachment figure (with the kids following in priority behind them, and then my brother behind that). I guess I'll just try to be open to whatever therapy gives me, and not freak out about anything. Yeah, that sounds like me.. not freaking out about anything.

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