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I went to my session today and just cried my eyes out. Now the strange thing is that I was not nervous about my session, wasn't talking about anything difficult, and actually was in a pretty good mood. All my T asked me was, "How are doing today?" Well, that's when the uncontrollable sobbing started. I kept it up for the whole hour while the poor woman kept trying to get me to verbalize my tears. All I could manage to get out between blowing my nose was, "I don't know." And seriously, I have no idea why I was crying. It was the craziest thing. Well she looked so concerned and that was making me cry even harder. Now, I'm all about a good cry now and then, but shouldn't there at least be some kind of reason? And this crying was out of control. The whole ride home, I kept trying to get a grip and figure out what the hell that was all about. I actually almost started laughing to myself because it was so bizarre to me. I imagined my T making a notation after I left: crazy patient-hope she plans to stay in therapy for many more months to come! Please tell me that this has happened to somebody out there????
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Hi Moro,

Like Jones, I've also cried before for apparently no reason. The times that were most perplexing were when I lived alone. Every few months I would just have a long crying fit for no outward reason I could see. The best I could ever come up with was that it was some sort of "existential angst" from spending too much time by myself.

I think J is right, that it can be the body's way of processing stuff that's happening on a deeper level. Sometimes toxic feelings build up - sadness, anxiety, anger, you name it - and it's as if my body has to have a good cry to wash them out.

I would be surprised if your T's never seen something like this before. It sounds like her question of how you were doing acted as a trigger to open up emotions you didn't know were there. Have you been feeling closer to her or safer with her lately? If so, maybe these were tears of relief. Or maybe you and your T will get to talking about it and discover some other reason, which will lead to a whole new level of growth for you. But FWIW, I don't think this was bizarre or crazy even if you never pinpoint the particular reason.

SG Smiler
Curious, I would say the same as Jones, that I have only had the experience of uncontrollable crying when I am by myself (although it has been a LONG time, probably overdue) but so far I have not had that experience during therapy. I kind of envy you (hope that doesn't make you mad) because a lot of times I wish I could cry. I wish I could remove the mask and really let myself feel what I must be trying to suppress. You said you had no idea why you were crying. I was wondering if maybe it is just too much to process right now and perhaps it will come to you when you are ready.
I echo the comments above. Your body never lies, and it's best to listen to it (which you did very nicely). If it feels like crying, let it rip, and let all that energy out. You don't have to know why all the time. Do we know why we dream what we do? Not usually, but our body sure does.

As far as I'm concerned, crying is a gift. Not being able to is a curse.

You should thank your body for working so well Smiler.

Russ
Hi Curious.

I have to agree with Russ. I'm having the opposite feelings to you at the moment, I just can't cry really. So when I actually do it's a huge relief, it feels good. But at the moment I can't and I don't know why. So I guess things are different for everyone but right now I'm envious of your uncontrollable crying! Sorry that I don't have something more constructive to say.

Take care!

Mrs. P

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