My husband's grandfather passed away several months ago, and my MIL (his daughter) has been the one in charge of packing up his house and preparing it for sale, sorting belongings, and dispersing things to various descendents.

At a family gathering awhile back she had a little table spread with kitchen "antiques", or at least, rather old stuff, for her children to pick through and choose from. She was trying to get H to pick from between two and three decanters, and after deliberating a moment he asked me if I had an opinion.

Before I could answer MIL said loudly and rather rudely that it was for H and his brother and sister to decide. This is, I regret to say, rather typical of her attitude towards me, and usually it doesn't hurt but in this case it did a little and was rather embarrassing. I know MIL is not at her best grieving for her family and all, but I wish that could manifest in ways other than an increased tendency to pick on me. I hate being cast in the role of a greedy grasping daughter in law when really I could have cared less about any of that stuff, our kitchen is fully stocked as it is, and I was only going to give an opinion because H asked me for one.

H told her to hush and said that he was asking me, but I avoided saying much at this point. It was a bit awkward, he and SIL kept bending over backwards trying to interest me in candy dishes and whatever.

At any rate, we ended up with a decanter, a silver butterfly trivet, and I think a candy dish that is somewhere.

So, here is my conundrum. I was reorganizing and sorting some things in the kitchen the other day and realized that the butterfly trivet would look awesome hung on the wall above my coffee-sugar-and-tea canisters. It reminded me of the scene with MIL and made me wince a little, but I was mostly pleased at the effect and went ahead and hung it on the wall.

What I am now worrying over is-- what does this say about the kind of person I am? Have I just sold my soul in service to an improved coffee counter? If I had more self respect would I have disdained to use it, let alone display it? Is there something wrong with me?

I am telling myself that even if MIL was a bit nasty and stressed that day it is not the trivet's fault, so why banish it to an unseen corner for the rest of it's life?

Bleh, this sounds so petty but it's bugging me. Thanks to anyone who has read this far. I don't even know what I'm looking for in way of a response, but wisdom or friendly hellos are equally welcome.