I've been back and forth for the past few days about whether to post or not. I've drafted a post a few times, too, but keep pulling it down before I post it. I'm in a very conflicted space right now, and it's been helpful for me to read and be supportive of everyone else. Definitely makes me feel a little less awkward in the real world, knowing I fit right in here in the forums!

I am fast approaching the one year mark with my T. Looking back, I can't believe that it's been a year already, because I still wish I could see T every single day. I thought the novelty would have worn off by now, and the rigor of the work we're doing would have taken over the thrill of getting to see T every week. But it's still there. A part of me wants to do something to acknowledge this occasion with T, but another part of me wants to just skip right over it and keep plowing ahead with the work we're doing.

Things have been VERY intense lately, beyond anything I've ever experienced, and it is painfully exhausting, and all the tears make everything extremely nauseating too. There is a lot going on both health-wise and mentally that has been a catalyst for increasing the intensity of our work, and my sessions fly by in a blink, leaving me wishing I had twice the time, or could see T every day. As hard as the work is, it IS good work worth doing. So I don't know if I want to take up time with what doesn't necessarily seem like it would be helpful?

Like I said, I've been going back and forth on this, and on even posting about this, but I've gotten to the point where I have to make a decision, otherwise the day will pass without anything. And if I choose to do nothing, I want it to be a conscious choice, not an "oops, I ran out of time" forced choice. I want to stay in control

Insight? Input? Thoughts? Ideas? Please?