Okay, I've mentioned in two different posts that I am going through a bunch of transference stuff with my female T and that she hasn't exactly been open to discussion about it (in fact I feel like she's avoiding dealing with it), and some of her reactions in the past when I have brought up the subject have been "negative" from my perspective. Well, I have come to the point where I know I HAVE to talk to her about this because it is holding me back and having a very negative effect on my life right now. So I decided that at my next session I am going to put it ALL out on the table, no skirting around anything. My main concern is that I have Googled her and have found out stuff about her, her family, etc. and that I feel that I need to tell her about this. I am scared of what she will think about this and what her ultimate reaction to this will be. Someone suggested writing a letter and giving it to her before my session so I don't have to see her reaction. Someone else suggested I take a letter with me to give her in case I get too scared to talk (which I often do have trouble with). However, after reading stuff on Shrinklady's awesome website I almost think I would be best benefited by just maybe writing all the individual "topics" I need to discuss with her onto a sheet of paper and then elaborating on them as I go and actually talking to my T face to face about all of this stuff. Well, I'm really debating as to what would be the best idea. I'm so stressed about this I thought I would take a poll to give me some more input. So I'm hoping all of you "lurkers" out there will come out of lurkdom and add your two cents here. I need all the help I can get!!!
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I like best the idea of writing a letter that you bring with you in case you freeze up, because if you send it to her beforehand you will not be able to witness her reaction. As scary as it is, I think you do need to witness it. I have sent letters to my T before, and though I have obtained a certain relief of sharing my thoughts that way, usually my T makes much less commentary on it after the fact. Once I gave her 40 pages of things I had written, and although she read all of it willingly, her only reaction to it later was "Thank you for being willing to share your innermost thoughts with me." I was kind of hoping for more elaboration and didn't get it. If you can manage it, just talking to her about what is in the letter is probably ideal, but if you get stuck or get tempted to drop the subject prematurely then pull out the letter and force yourself to cover what you haven't covered yet. You don't want to leave things unsaid. If your letter is really long and you end up reading all of it, you might want to consider pausing periodically throughout to make eye contact and discuss the paragraph you just read before moving on, because otherwise it will be difficult for her to remember all her comments if she has to save them until the very end. At least these are the tips I would be telling myself at this point. That doesn't mean I always follow them. 
When is your session? Good luck and for sure let us know how it goes! 
I have brought it up here and there and the last time I did, I felt her discomfort which was very painful. I left swimming in feelings of rejection, shame, confusion, hurt, fear, anger. I understand how the thoughts can consume you. 