Thank you for the update, Jillann. You've been in my thoughts! I know this is a big challenge - I hope you get to talk to the nutritionist it is hard and always feels like sooooo much on those re-feeding programs. I hope the DBT group improves… I found mine so useful.

Are you with the same group of people all the time?

Thinking of you.

It is so good to hear from you Jillann I've been thinking about you.
The first visits home are difficult. It's a challenge. In time, it'll get easier.
Are you able to get 1:1 sessions with the nutritionist? That may be something you can look into.
Sorry to hear about the DBT group. The group leaders can make or break the groups - same as the participants. I hope that improves while you're there.
Again - it's great to hear from you!

Cheering for you!!

Thank you for updating us. I've been thinking of you and wondering how you are doing. Keep up the good work. You can do this!

Jill... thanks for sharing this part of your journey with us. I have been wondering how you are doing in the program. I think it sounds encouraging and challenging. I'm so glad you decided to do this. BTW, I have a male T and he is wonderful, kind, and very caring and nurturing, so give this guy a chance. It may be just what you need. I'm glad you are in touch with your T and she has been so supportive.

Keep in touch,

TN

and thoughts,

starfishy

Hi Jillann -

I've not kept up with your story since I haven't been reading the boards until just recently. Reading this post, though, I feel sad that you have such challenges in your life. But I also feel hopeful since you are getting specialized treatment.

FWIW, I was in intensive outpatient several times last year. Initially, I hated being in groups and really just wanted 1:1 time. After a bit, though, the groups became so important. There is something about being in a group of people who truly understand what you're going thru. I also came to find it so validating. It wasn't just a professional "doing their job." It was my peers who said, yeah, I feel that too. Who felt sad with me. Who cried with me. It was a relief to be in such company. All this despite the fact that our counselors rotated and you'd never know who would be leading the group. I learned that the group was more powerful than I and sometimes more powerful than my 1:1 sessions.

I hope you are able to experience some of this healing power. I am sending positive energy your way. I hope when it arrives, you get some strength by it.

All my best-
Red Tomato

Thanks everyone for the support We got a boatload of snow here yesterday and everything is closed today so no PHP program. I'm trying to stick to my program but have to admit that I've exercised and skipped a few exchanges. I need help to get my mind to switch from the restricting mode to the healthy mode. I talked with the nutritionist one on one yesterday and it was good. She urged me to think with my rational mind and fight the ED voice that tells me not to eat. I know it sounds bizzare to talk about a voice in your head but it is so loud at times telling me I'm stupid and fat. Telling me I'll never be loved. My rational mind knows I have to eat to survive but it is a daily battle to fight the ED voice.

((Cat)) It is the same group of people each day but folks are discharged and new people admitted each day so it does change over time. When I first started it was all adults. Over this past week 4 of the adults have left and been replaced by 3 teens. That is disconcerting because I just can't see myself discussing some things in group with teenagers.

((lucy)) Thanks for the care and thinking about me. Your story is really an inspiration for me to keep at this journey. I so appreciate the support.

((BLT)) ((SP)) ((Draggers)) ((Fishy)) Thanks so much for the hugs, cheers and support. I so afraid to share any of this with friends or family in real life so it means the world to have support from all my cyber friends.

((TN)) Thank you for the encouragement. I know I should not prejudge this T because of his gender but it is hard for me. Thanks for reminding me how kind yours is!

((RT)) Thanks for sharing with me about your IOP experiences. I agree the group therapy sessions can really be affirming. I wish it was a program that you all started at the same time and went through together. Our group keeps changing and there are several teenagers in the group now. I makes it a bit hard to share about some more personal (married person) type issues. Thanks for the positive thoughts.

Jillann

Those conflicting voices, Jillann... try having the conversation with yourself out loud. I think you'll be surprised how different it is.

More hugs
RT