quote:

Originally posted by Blanket Girl:
I just have to chime in that I am LMAO over this thread and the whole pooping thing...incredulous laughter.

And I have to wonder: why did she ADMIT to ANYONE that she pooped on the phone? If such an emergency arose, wouldn't you be extremely discreet? Geeze.

It's just unreal. OMG. Unreal.

I agree...absolutely incredulous. T1 and I cannot stop laughing about it. Every time we talk now, we make a joke about it and giggle for a solid minute about it before we can move on and get to my therapy. We've actually been making a joke about how if I break a pact with T1 not to purge (which we have started doing lately), that my consequence will be that I have to poop while on the phone with T1 which freaks me out so much that I'm like, "I'd rather the consequence be that I have to get one of my toes cut off with a garden trimmer Mafia style than have to poop on the phone with you!" She is of course not being serious about me having to poop, but it has been a good source of laughter for us.

So now that I am down to one T, I have realized that in order to get the therapy I want and need, I am going to have ask for more from T1 in terms of the level of processing we do, the depth of the work, etc. Basically, I need to process trauma with her, which up until now, she has been letting T2 do because T1 felt that it was better done in person.

So on Thursday, I told her that now that she is my only therapist, I need to ask for more from her. I told her that I have felt that she has not fully understood how significant my recent divorce was and how it tied back to a lot of trauma I incurred during high school. I connected some dots for her that she was not able to do for herself (which had been frustrating for me, as T2 was always able to quickly connect the dots and see why certain events in present day were tied to past events). But T1 needs a little help in this area, I have come to realize. So I connected the dots, told her in very clear terms that we are not digging deep enough in our therapy, and that I really need more from her.

To my pleasant surprise, she received this request positively and agreed to go deeper with me in our work together. We are finally going to start skypeing so we can see each other while we process trauma.

I am realizing that while I do get a lot from T1 in terms of feeling safe, cared for, knowing she isn't going to abandon me.....she just isn't as intelligent as T2, she is a bit spacey, and often times, things go over her head. But I am willing to work harder in my therapy to make sure she is hearing me, to make sure that I connect the dots for her in areas that she isn't seeing, and I am willing to ask for what I need and tell her when I am not getting those needs met.

I was worried that when I asked for more from her and told her that we weren't going deep enough and that I felt she was missing some important themes in my life, she would be hurt. But she wasn't. She was soooooo on board with working harder and doing the trauma work with me. This was a huge relief....and gave me a lot of hope about my therapy and recovery....hope that I had momentarily lost in my termination with T2.

Glad to hear your T is going to step it up and go where you need and want her to go. I hope it goes well for you.

MTF