Last few sessions he triggered some really painfull feelings, I felt really hurt and cried a lot. Refusal of a hug, asking me not to text him, not giving me what I want, not touching me when saying "see you next week". I felt like he was taking away some precious things, like that's part of some therapy plan, that we have to proceed this way in order for me to process the loss and move on.

Last time I made him laugh few times, when I was getting back at him for being bad therapist for me.
That made me soooo happy. He laughed, we had kind of light session, no painfull feelings processing, but I felt that he was on his guard, ready to care for me if I needed it at some point. Even if I wasn't so small and vulnerable this time, he was looking out. This felt so great. Even laughing and talking not really important stuff, even talking some sh**t, he was there for me, watching me and noticing if and when I would be going into more vulnerable state. It makes me love him even more after each session. Perhaps I'm testing him again? Will he still be caring if there will be bigger me there, not the little frightened child?

However, interestingly I still don't feel any anger. He says it is somewhere, but I feel none of it. The most angry feelings I ever had for him was only slight annoyance and protest. And that's it.
Do any of you get really angry in therapy? I can't imagine it at the moment.

So anyway, that was my "up" last week. Feeling really safe, although there are some anxious feelings lurking in me, waiting to come out, awaiting their turn...