True North
I feel perfectly comfortable to respond to this topic.
Once I fell into a deep hole, few years ago and couldn't cope for months, feeling depressed and overwhelmed. That's the first time I went to see a pscyhiatrist. I just didn't care. I wanted him to do whatever, just help me out. I was on antidepressants for couple of months. It worked. I felt better. But I was afraid of them too. I thought I can get addicted or something. He told me they are not addictive. I believed him, I read something also so I stopped being afraid of them.But as soon as I started to feel better I stopped taking them because I thought I don't nned them anymore. Probably that was the best time to be in therapy but this solution was not availble. Then I felt worse again. So I was taking them again. I knew this is not the solution. I knew that perhaps something else would be a solution, deep probing to the core of the problem, a psychotherapy. But I couln't afford it, it was unavailble to me. I was trying to see psychologist - but I could't get myslef to open up, I was in group therapy for a while (for free - that was a few weeks scheme that was advertised in a newspaper). Eventually I managed to get over my depression and was back myself again.
Then a year or two later I had some bad moods again, felt anxious without reason so went over to GP for antidepressants again. Just to make it go away again, but I knew still this is not a solution. I knew the final solution (if there is any) is a proper psychotherapy. So I was lucky enough to be able to afford it eventually.
But I do think that antidepressants definitely work. They do their job. But still there is a job they will not do. So you have your T and yourself for the good deal of a job that will not get done by medication only.
Honestly, I wouldn't be afraid of medication.

I have been on antidepressants for years (tried many different ones until the one I am on now seems to work the best) I have gone on and off of them also but find that they do seem to give me the help I need to get to the point that I can fully participate in therapy. I have chronic depression and don't think therapy only would do the trick for me. I am grateful that they are available and the drugs they have now are a huge improvement in terms of less side effects than they were 20-30 years ago.
Just my experience for what it's worth.
Everyone needs to discuss the pros and cons
with their therapist.

This is such a hard topic, it's one I'm struggling with right now.

I'm so sensitive to medications, or so aware of what they do that it's maddening. It seems like I can't find a happy middle ground where the drugs help, but don't cause side effects that I find nearly intolerable.

It feels like I can either be functional at work, in my social life (on drugs) and not feel or be able to feel but not be functional.

The most frustrating part, though, is that I'm currently questioning my marriage. I don't know if I should leave my husband or not. Before I went back on meds, I knew I had to leave. Now, I can tolerate the marriage and don't have the motivation to start the hard journey that leaving would be. I feel stuck.

Like I said, I'm so sensitive to them, it makes it hard. I'm still taking them though. I think I need to do some more work on myself (therapy/other activities) before I can stop taking them.

One thing to keep in mind, you can stop taking these drugs! If you try them and hate what they do, you can stop. If you try them, and they help, you can keep taking them, and then stop after a while.

SSRIs can be difficult to stop (don't let anyone tell you otherwise) but it can be done. I'm intimately familiar with my particular reaction to starting and stopping SSRIs, I'm such a flip-flopper :|

So, I don't know if any of that is helpful or just confusing. But there it is

Hi all,

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who is sharing their experiences on this topic. I've never been on antidepressants or other medication, but I've wondered sometimes if I should be. I can count on one hand the number of days I have felt "okay" in my own skin. Most of the time I feel anxious or depressed, and I've wondered if I'm just so used to feeling this way that it's just "normal" to me. Sometimes it feels like trying to run a race wearing one of those big, heavy lead aprons they make you wear when you get an x-ray. But I've also been worried about medication becoming "addictive" so thank you for clarifying that it isn't. And thank you also for clarifying that it can be sort of a "boost" to get you up out of the hole so you can keep going, and that you might not need it after that. You've given me a lot to think about.

Thanks,
SG

I have struggled with depression for at least 10 years. I finally started therapy 2 years ago and was making progress but it wasn't enough. My therapist suggested many times considering meds. I was hesitant but so tired of feeling bad. I went to a psychiatrist who carefully and gently started me on meds and after a few month of adjusting feel GREAT. I can't believe the difference. Of course therapy is still essential but in my case the meds helped. The also tested my vitamin d and B12 levels as they can contribute to depression and fatigue. Both my levels were seriously low and she started me on vitamin supplements. My levels are now normal and that has made me feel much better. I know meds are a tricky thing and you have to do what is right for you but I just thought I would share my story.

I did use anti-depressants once, for about 4 months, after my ex-husband walked out of our marriage. The reason I chose to take them was because I was incapable of functioning beyond the bare minimum. It was such a struggle to even get out of bed to go to work. I was constantly bursting into tears out of the blue, I was depressed to the point of wishing I could just fall asleep one night and never wake up. I was barely existing. At that point in my life, after a lot of deep thought and soul searching, I decided that meds could help me over the initial aftermath of his leaving. In conjunction with the T I went to see to help me with the adjustment/changes in my life, the meds allowed me to feel more balanced. They certainly helped take the leading edge off of my feelings so that I could move through that period of adjustment.

When I made the decision just over a year ago to return to therapy to finally get to the root of my issues, my T suggested taking meds. I politely but firmly refused, and she hasn't brought up the issue since. I want to feel my emotions head on - I don't want them masked or their intensity lessened. How can I ever really know if I have dealt with what I need to deal with if I don't feel what I need to feel in all its terrible wrath? I went into therapy knowing it would be emotionally difficult, heartwrenching, and stressful. But, that's what has to happen in order for me to heal. And for me at least, I need my T to witness my pain and fear and anxiety in all its terrible glory, so that I may finally feel heard and understood and validated.

These are my opinions as they pertain to me only. I do firmly believe that everyone needs to decide for themselves whether meds are a good choice for them. Certainly, many people benefit greatly from using them, so I don't discount their potential and validity as a "helper". But I choose to not use them because I am functioning well in my life, and because if I am going to work this hard in my theraputic process, I want to feel it all, think it all, understand it all, and heal from it all.

Just my two cents, for what it's worth.

Musical Me

Hi all,

I've no problem with sharing either. Guess I'm surprised to see so many positive stories on here. At the moment I'm on anit-depressants-I have been for about 7/8 months. Recently the GP advised me to up the dosage (my counsellor suggested it first) since the previous dosage didn't seem to be doing anything and my feelings of anxiety and depression were staying the same. However, after 6/7 weeks on the upped dosage I just feel much the same but exhausted, I don't know if I was always this tired but suppressing it. Right now it's such a struggle to go to work, get out of bed, socialise etc. I'm not sure if it's letting me stay the same or hindering me. I can't remember what being "normal" is anymore.

Ever since things started to kick off a year and a half ago my method of being stressed and busy as hell but holding it together has disintigrated. I had to face how unhappy I was and that I was doing things for all the wrong reasons i.e. what other people expected. But when I did the depth of my feelings started rearing their head and I've been struggling to deal with them since. I just feel like I have no coping mechanisms to deal with what's going on.

How the recommendation for meds came about initially was when I was attending a counsellor about 6 months ago and discussing how anxious and depressed I felt. She recommended seeing a GP for a professional opinion. She talked things over with me and said that I was suffering from depression, be it temporary or whatever and gave me a prescription. I was hesitant. I spent 6 weeks mulling it over-the cost was an issue too. In the end I simply gave in because I felt so bad and have been on them since-I haven't really felt better on them. There have been bried glimpses of hope but a few hours later they're gone.

So I've tried the T and meds method and as such I feel like the therapy has helped with certain things. Changing Ts has been difficult and it's gonna be a long time before I'm over my old T. Like I said in another thread-I'm beginning to think 1 session a week is not enough anymore.

Mrs. P

Mrs. P...I just want to mention that I think it would be fine to see your T more than once a week. I see my T on Monday alone and on Thursday with my son. I don't always talk about me on Thursday and sometimes I don't talk with him much at all if I'm in a good place, but it does give us a chance to check-in and if I need him I can split the session. I really like the Monday-Thursday rhythm. When I express worry about seeing him too much my T reminds me that in the "old" days people went to analysis 4 times a week or more. Of course you also had to be able to afford it!

Okay now... I want to thank every one of you who have bravely responded to this thread and shared your stories and experiences. It was incredibly generous of you. Like Z (Heather) I'm also very sensitive to meds and can't even take cold medicine or novacaine as they send me into panic. I don't think I'd be able to tolerate side effects and while SSRI's are not addictive, the anti-anxiety meds, benzodiazipines are (Xanax, Ativan etc).

And like Musical Me... I also want to experience my emotions head on and to feel everything to it's fullest. I know it will be painful and I know I can do it with my T's support.

Mrs. P from what I know a side-effect is tiredness, and maybe your dose is too high or you need another different type of SSRI? About feeling normal... I'm not sure I'd recognize normal any more either.

Curious I'm glad you shared your story and that the meds are working great for you. I did have my levels checked and had blood work done. All is normal but someone else did mention that falling estrogen levels could be causing some of my problems. An interesting thought.

Emogirl... it's good to hear that the meds are giving you the help you need to participate fully in your therapy so you can get the most out of it. Thanks for sharing.

SG...glad this thread helped you too!

Amazon... I respect your persistence in seeking the help that you need to resolve your problems including trying the meds. They do say at meds alone do not work as well as when you also engage in therapy. Hange in there.

Echo... thank you again for sharing your story. You are right my T is wonderful and I have to remember when he brings up these things he is coming from a place of caring and concern. He is ethical and needs to discuss these things with me. He wants to help me and I realize that now that my hurt has faded a bit.

What we have decided together to try for now is having me learn to meditate, to exercise (walking program) and also to use some CBT techniques to control my worry. I'm been reading some about anxiety and chronic worry and it seems that I use worrying as a way to "protect" myself. And as someone with a trauma history being safe and protecting myself is now job #1... but just because I worry myself about something does not mean I can prevent it from happening. What I need to develop is more confidence in being able to handle what comes my way.

So thanks again to all. I will keep you updated.

Be well,
TN

Hi True North, I just saw your thread and wanted to add a few words about anxiety in therapy. I was sorry to hear your therapist was putting so much pressure on you. I have never found the need to suggest to clients that they go on meds for anxiety. A number of my clients come to see me on meds already and that's fine but I just couldn't imagine - with the tools we have now - that there'd be a need for meds for anxiety (Although - I might add - there could always be a first time). Of course, if someone can't pay for regular therapy, meds might be an option but my naturapath swears he has alternatives that are much healthier.

One of the problems that can surface in talk therapy is that the material that's dealt with is not contained sufficiently we'll need a body based activity to calm the nervous system down. So, I'm glad to hear you're gonna try exercise and meditation. If you can tolerate yoga - and I know that it's hard for some folks - it's a nice way to get the activation down. I think you'll find on the days you're able to calm your body, the worry thoughts aren't so bad.

Shrinklady