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8 replies

very upset

thedudethedudeMember
I'm so upset! Scott sent an email asking our sister if she was calm, and what her plans were. She phoned ... it didn't go so well! She basically blamed us, and also said she's glad her hubbie stepped in as she was too upset to do so. I told her if she's upset then SHE needs to talk to me herself ... I told her it's ironic because as her hubbie felt he was protecting her, we thought we were protecting dad! When we started to get emotional, she said she thought we were 'getting worked up' and asked what else to do ... I suppose we resolved a few things,firstly we'll communicate via phone and not email, um... that's about it LOL I asked her to tell her hubbie not to step in, and to deal with things herself, but she won't do that one. She wants a 'peaceful and joyful' Christmas ... go figure, otherwise known as 'stick that under the carpet' ... I'm so upset!

I desperately want to cut actually...

My computer is going funky on me, took me about 5 min. to log on here!

Robin

p.s. Samy's friend she knows on a blog just passed away from cancer, so Samy is sad...
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justme 2justme 2Member
Hi Robin,

I am sorry for all that you are going through with your sister. But _please_ don't cut! What does your T tell you to do instead? I am sure that you have learned some things that work better than that. I don't want you to hurt yourself, you don't deserve that. I know you hurt a lot inside right now, but please don't do that. OK?

I know family issues are tough. I’ve been avoiding my sister for quite a while and I just figured out why in session last Wednesday. It just came out and I suddenly said, “Oh yeah, that’s why I am mad at her.” It’s not that I want to be, but she really humiliated me a few years back by sharing some very personal and humiliating things about my childhood to people I hardly knew and she told them things that I never told a soul. Things just haven’t been the same since. I feel so betrayed. Hopefully I will work them out in therapy and be able to make amends with her.

Please tell Samy I am sorry for the loss of her friend and I am sending her (((hugs))).

JM
Attachment GirlAttachment GirlAdmin
Robin,
I'm really sorry but may I add my voice to JM's, you don't deserve to be hurt especially by yourself. I'm glad you were able to come here and post. Families can really hurt us because it seems like they're the last people who should. But I am impressed that you are standing up for yourself. Try to concentrate on the good in your life now.

Please tell Samy I'm sorry about her friend, its very hard when we lose someone we love.

and its not your computer, I think its the site, I'm having a tough time getting on too.

AG
thedudethedudeMember
Thanks for all the support here.Things are still rough but I'm coping. Partly I always end up thinking there's something wrong with ME, and that I'm stupid, and no good, and exaggerating the situation, and that I've done it all wrong. It's hard for me to remember there's two people in this ( me AND my sister) and that all the blame can't be put onto one person. At least I'm keeping safe.

Robin
justme 2justme 2Member
quote:
It's hard for me to remember there's two people in this ( me AND my sister) and that all the blame can't be put onto one person. At least I'm keeping safe.

Robin,
You're not alone there either. It seems that I take on the burdens of others too willingly too. You're right, there are two people involved and you are working hard to keep a safe distance and try to have at least some positive realtionship. It's not all on you if it doesn't happen all the time. You gave me some good food for thought for my sisters too. Thank you.
JM

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