Thanks everyone for the responses. It helps a lot to know I'm not alone in this. I used to have really bad "learned insomina" where I had problems falling alseep. It was awful... I have boughts of insomina now and then, but they usually end within a week or so. I've never really struggled with waking up so early so much. It's really wearing me out.
My only symptoms of depression are being a bit more tearful that normal and waking up at 2am every night. I'm tired as can be, and yet I wake up so early. My anxiety kicks in the worst at the wee hours of the night.
It is so hard to be sad and worn out and totally unable to get more rest to restore my heart/mind/body.
Thanks for the ideas about sleep and meds and mind tricks. I have been on an extremely small dose of an antidepressant to see if it helped the anxiety. Maybe I need to try it at a higher dose. I really don't want to take more, but I need sleep. Most sleep meds don't work except Trazadone, but it gives me horrible nightmares. argh. I think I need to work on my sleep habits and deal with whatever is driving the depression.
sweet dreams to you all,
~ jd