Closed Doors,

I understand, you were worked up and it is very common for the body to react. It happens to me all the time, worse when I hold back.

Talk to your T about it so he can explore it with you. My muscles tighten up and spasm like crazy..

Wow, that sounds intense. I'm sorry you are coping with FOO stuff right now.

My T likes to do body work and when I'm struggling in-session will often ask me where the feeling is located. Once I thought about it and said "Um, this is going to sound really weird, but it's in my shins". She didn't bat an eyelid. I think it may be worth talking about with your T.

So, a big "Me too" on the sensations thing.

hi, A! glad to meet you! i appreciate your thoughts on this. perhaps that was my problem, that i was "trying" to hold back but knew that i couldn't. in fact, i'm pretty sure. i felt pretty out of control and wired up, and i had to stop the car and just breathe. during that time, even though i was only a block away from T's office, i very seriously considered calling or texting him that there was no way in hell i could make it in. after a few minutes of contemplating this, and wondering what the construction worker was thinking i was doing in my closed up car in 90 degree weather, i calmed myself enough to say "f*ck it ... just DO it"! so i popper her into drive and parked and went in. the rest (nearly) is all recorded for whenever i need to hear T being totally accepting of my wierdnessess.

((((mallard)))) i'm so glad you're here. you're pretty new here, but you have a really good grasp on therapy, i think. thanks for the empathy, and thanks for your shins story. it helped normalize a rather strange feeling and trying to rationalize the wierd feelings.

to all of you pondering not going to T because you're uncomfortable: the very fact that you are uncomfortable is an awesome enough reason for going in. and you got nothing but my utmost respect.

to everybody here that continues to attend in spite of its uncomfortableness. what a bunch of brave souls!!! seriously!

Hi cD its Ang, I just shortened my name on here I miss chat on here.

I can totally relate, even though I know its normal to see two Ts and am making a transition I haven't told them yet. There's no insurance involved, anyway...

I tighten up when I go to T2.. I know arrive early and wait downstairs.. I just need that time... he can tell..
You are right about being uncomfortable to go in.. we should still go in and talk it out.. we are only hurting ourselves by canceling..

Hi CD, it's not easy as a new person to the community to figure out how much to post and comment, how much to share - so hope the balance is ok.

I do study counselling part time - but to work with couples and families, and not with a trauma focus. Eventually I'd like to be in a position to help people who were in my position (seriously messed up attachment) but that will probably be years away. Being a student has given me a deeper understanding of some theories but mainly I speak from having been off and on the therapy bus for something like 15 years and have stumbled through bad therapy, ok therapy and truly transformative therapy!!

It has helped me to talk through some of the issues I struggle with too. I'm glad I found the forum.

(((Ang)))! hi! i hope you're doing well! it's nice to see an "old" face on here emerge. i hope you're doing well. good for you for continuing to go in spite of uncomfortableness ... it's hard but i think that's the work. i'm glad to see you prowling around still, and i hope to see more of you!

(((Mallard))) i know it's not easy being new, and there really is a fine line. i think you're doing well, though. you have alot of good insight, but you're not off the deep end, either. good balance. i'm glad you're here, and i'm glad the forum has offered you support.